1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but
it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class
because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder
and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope,
it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road
and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France
would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11.A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police
are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in
the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll
go on a head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: 'Keep
off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a
hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was,
a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he
just didn't have the balls to do it.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped
from prison was a small medium at large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and
pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
21. A backward poet writes inverse.
22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism
it's your count that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they
got a taste of religion.
24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice
safe sects!
No comments:
Post a Comment