.......Another meme - stop me ............... now...........

The 40 Meme: (stolen from http://emeraldcityguy.wordpress.com/ - go visit)

1. My uncle once said nothing - I have no uncles - only Aunts - although one was borderline.......
2. Never in my life will I ever mistake household bleach for mouth wash again....
3. When I was seventeen I did one of our high school water polo stars behind the gym shed... he liked it ... he told me so :)
4. High School was a time of both over and under-achievement.....
5. I will never forget the time 4 USA sailors picked me up from a gay bar in brisbane - what a 48 hours THAT was ...
6. I once met the Australian media personality Kerry-Anne Kennerley - she was adorable but almost like a Drag Queen on speed - love your work girl ...
7. There’s this girl I know who needs to up her meds - she thinks bi-polar is a sex act ...
8. Once, at a bar I was stripped naked and spanked whilst doing the splits - oh to be 22 again ...
9. By noon, I’m ready for that first glass of red ...
10. Last night I planned the domination of the western world - I dont want the eastern part - chinese food makes me burp ...
11. If only I or someone I knew could win Lotto - so I could avoid bankruptcy ...
12. Next time I go to gym I WILL strut my fat ass naked in the change room - fuck 'em :) ...
13. Susan Boyle makes me believe good things can happen to twats like me ....
14. What worries me most is the depression winning ....
15. When I turn my head left, I see a beige wall ...
16. When I turn my head right, I see a beige life ....
17. You know I’m lying when I'm happy for your success ...
18. What I miss most about the eighties are my big hair and bigger dick ...
19. If I was a character in Shakespeare I’d be one of those witches around the cauldron ...
20. By this time next year I will either have a great paying job - or kill everyone around me ....
21. A better name for me would be Im-Gonna-Go-Postal ...
22. I have a hard time understanding HaShem ...
23. If I ever go back to school I'm gonna say yes to the teacher who hits on me ;)
24. You know I like you if I pay the hitman NOT to take you out ...
25. If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be my mum for showing me how to hide the bodies ...
26. When I compare 80’s rock to 90’s rock I despair the absence of a life ...
27. Take my advice never Nair your butt crack - it'll be sandpaper two days later ....
28. My ideal breakfast is disgust sprinkled with apathy - keeps you going all morning ...
29. A song I love, is Waltzing Matilda - really - it perks me up - kill me now ...
30. If you visit my hometown, say HI to the Hookers - they miss me ....
31. My favorite Beatle is a dead beatle - I don't get the hype ...
32. Why won’t people smarten the fuck up - most are morons ...
33. If you spend the night at my house you’d better (A) bring good wine - and - (B) be prepared to put out - I aint a free ride bitches ...
34. I’d stop my wedding for a good glass of red ...
35. The world could do without the Middle East - it's not a PC response - but it's honest ...
36. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than kiss the ass of my enemies ...
37. My favorite blonde is my younger self - what the hell were you expecting? ...
38. Paper clips are torturous ...
39. If I do anything well, it’s me giving the world the middle finger.
40. And by the way if I sound negative - deal with it - life is ups and downs ...

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