...........................Little things about being BIG......................

I read a post on a blog the other day that was about how the writer hated TUBBY people and how annoying they were.

Now I'm what southern ladies would call SENS-SA-TAAIVE about weighty issues. But not because I am big now. It comes from NOT being big most of my life.

You see, I didn't realise how good I had it. For most of my life I was extremely active and very fit. But then at 30 I basically let myself go - no ones fault but my own.

The thing is, your problems don't start and end with a big ass, there are other - shall we say - more subtle changes that you don't think of.

Such as..

• Yes Billy-Bob, your dick DOES look smaller when you are fat - we'll call it the Turtle effect.
• It is harder to wipe your ass. You actually have more square footage to reach around (thankfully this is no longer a problem for me - oy vey)
• As you are effectively walking around with almost 100 extra pounds strapped to your body, stairs, bending down, getting back up and lifting will seem like an Olympic sport.
• Your thighs will now become intimately acquainted with each other in a little dance called "Fat Rash" - that lovely red rash one gets from excess friction.
• You develop a somewhat side to side walk/waddle. (See above)
• You develop the "don't serve me I am too grotesque for your time" aura in clothing and accessories stores.
• Waiters get pissed at you when you leave food on your plate.
• Economy Class flying is now only enjoyable when you remember to bring the Jaws of Life and a tub of Vaseline.
• You become fond of the letter "X" - Eg. XL, XXL, XXXL etc.
• Personal Trainers begin stalking you in the hope you will turn to the Dark Side.
• Fast-Food workers greet you a little TOO enthusiastically.
• Five little words become your new nemesis - "You don't look that bad."

So why am I bringing this up? Coz I used to look like this...............



So all you people who are thin .............. beware........... you don't wanna get fat.

And all my fellow fatties - it's okay - you CAN beat it. I am.

Just believe in yourself.