This one stolen from My 2 Cents who in turn klepto'd it from Sunday Stealing this week we have the Alpaha Meme.
My roommate and I once: tended each others wrists cuts. Those that cut together - heal together.
Never in my life have I: not looked at a Catholic personage and fought down an urge to beat them hard with a dense, blunt object.
High school was: where I honed my self-loathing and chronic distrust of others. Wanna be my friend still?
When I’m nervous: I find a leather bar and start dancing around the room as Glenda the Goodwitch from the North. Thankfully, those boys know how to burst a bubble.
My hair: resembles a tennis ball left out in the sun for too long - frayed and patchy. Got you hot yet?
When I was 5: I decided that vaginas were not my thing..
When I turn my head left: I see yet another closet large enough to stash a body.
I should be: Feared. People tend to want to explore their fears..............wanna map?
By this time next year: I will have lost enough fat, gained enough muscle, and achieved such a higher level of financial security you will beg me to own you............... I will politely decline.
My favorite aunt is: the one who had to learn humility by cleaning houses and toilets recently.
Funny - my mum did that for thirty years and the aunt thought it beneath her - who's gagging now bitch?
I have a hard time understanding: why I always leave a witness behind.
You know I like you if: I leave you behind as a live witness....... oh so THAT's why :)
My ideal breakfast is: Experiences of regret sweetened with vestiges of hope.
If you visit my home town: Do not ask about what happened in the barn - with the school vice captain - some saddle oil - and me.
If you spend the night at my house: you will earn your entrance, your meal, and your freedom.
The animal I would like to see flying besides birds: Elephants - I had a soft spot for Dumbo.
I shouldn’t have been: so lethargic with the gimp I own. That fukka only took it to the wrist..... of three different men. I think he's just stopped trying.
Last night I: Counted my targets chart. There is a new face I swear I didn't put in - mind you there was that psychotic episode.........
A better name for me would be: He Who Will Care Until Your Mistake Turns Me Into The Bitch Who Stalks You Like A Cure For Vag Rash.
I’ve been told I look like: The guy that stands outside your bedroom window at 3am - the resemblance is truly uncanny............ btw......... that's a lovely night stand you have.
If I could have any car, it would be: A top of the line Holden Statesman - room in the boot for six good sized cadavers.