Monday, 23 November 2009

........Totally Stolen Meme ...................................................

..................that coincidentally is a totally stolen meme :)

Surf over to My 2 Cents - and see how he answered this :)

1. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? Those annoying people who can't work an EFTPOS machine at the checkout.

2. How do you flush the toilet in public? You push the button ................duh.

3. Do you wear your seat-belt in the car? Yes - it helps to flatten my waist and make me appear oh so more alluring.

4. Do you have a crush on someone? Not at the moment - but I go off my meds tomorrow so ANYTHING can happen.

5. Name one thing you worry about running out of. Meds - oops.

6. What famous person do you think you resemble? The dude on the serial killer ad on CI ................ hot huh?

7. What is your favourite pizza topping? Zoloft and Unisom.

8. Do you crack your knuckles? I crack knees - not my own.

9. What song do you hate the most? That Beyonce one where she tries to sing............ oh hang on ........... that's every Beyonce single.

10. Did mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head? No - the voices in my head are tone deaf and thus they prefer not to sing - they do a fantastic spoken word tho.

11. What are your super powers? I have the unique superpower to ogle hotties without them knowing I am staring at their sacred place.

12. Peppermint or spearmint? Mint flavoured alcohol.

13. Where are your car keys? Around my penis - they double as a cock ring.......... wtf do you think they are?

14. Last song you listened to? The dumb blonde bitches across the way around the pool singing some short of Britney shit.

15. What’s your most annoying habit? Always being right.................. really.

16. Where did you last go on vacation? The happy place that the Klemazopam takes me.

17. What is your best physical feature? My absence of gag reflex.

18. What CD is closest to you right now? No CD's - but there's a tranny across the road.

19. What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator? Vodka, OJ, Arsenic.

20. What superstition do you believe/practice? I believe the one about the ladder - mind you that is more about the space not being wide enough for my arse and me being sick of ppl falling on me.

21. What colour are your bed sheets? Beige - it mirrors the colour of my head space.

22. Would you rather be a fish or a bird? A bird - then *I* can be the one to shit on someone.

23. Last thing you broke? The flight attendant who said no to my fifth vodka and orange.

24. What are you having to eat tonight? Red meat and regret.

25. What colour shirt are you wearing? Beige - see remark re headspace.

26. If you could be doing anything else today, what would you rather be doing? Sitting in a snooty cocktail lounge drinking numerous cocktails and being snooty on everyone's arse.

27. Do security cameras make you nervous? It's not like I haven't been on camera before - I'm just clothed lately.

28. If you wrote a book about your life, what would the title be? The Voices - An Internal Debate.

29. Last time you went to a cemetery? I don't do death - at all.

30. Last concert you went to? NZ Ballet - front row - crotches and flexibility - good time.

31. Favourite musician(s)/bands you’ve seen in concert? None - they always suck live.

32. Next concert you’re planning to attend? The Mormon Lads from down the road Do Brisbane .......... hang on.......... that's just a porno in my head.

33. Do you talk to yourself? No - I talk to the voices - don't you read?

34. Have you ever adopted or purchased a pet? I got a few friends that are borderline pet shop.

35. Have you ever been present when an animal is being born? No - I don't do birth - I was grown in a tube.


MJ said...

May I join you in the cocktail lounge?

Michael Rivers said...

Wonderful answers! I needed some money morning humor!

Damien Oz said...

MJ - Always Mistress - we can be snooty together.

MR - Morning humour is always good :)
Glad I could help.