Sunday, 14 March 2010

.............. On The 15th Of March, 1972.............I was born........................

.................................38 years later I am at a crossroads in my life.

I finally love myself.

Not the - "Oh look at me look at me I am so hot and wonderful".

But the "I can look at my overweight body; I can look into my depressive mind; and, I can look into my eyes older than they should be and say 'I am good'".

To say that this is a big thing is an understatement.

But it is not a big thing for you - or my husband - or my friends - it is a big thing for me.

When you have mental illness it is something that continually has you questioning EVERYTHING.

Finally, I am at a point where I accept everything as it is and just do what I can to effect change on a daily basis.

The first part of reality is acceptance.
  • I am overweight - just a fact.
  • I need to work on my career - I have none right now - just a fact.
  • I live with mental illness - just a fact.
  • Mental illness does not have to BE my life - that is the F-A-C-T.
Everything in my life I can effect.

Everything in my life is owned by me and no one else.

Today - the old life stops.

At 38 I choose to live - to change - to win - to achieve - and to enjoy.

I choose not to give in - not to fall apart - not to ignore help - not to ignore the goals and desires of others.

I choose to be me.

And I love me.

15th of March 2010 - My rebirth.

For all of you - I pray that HaShem grants you the gift of discovery that He has gifted me on the eve of my 38th birthday.

To those bloggers who have come into my life - and you know who you all are - thank you. You all bring a wonderful sense of discovery and surprise to my days.

I am lucky that so many that I hold in high esteem visit my blog and take time to send me emails that are supportive, encouraging and engaging.

I started this blog just to give myself an outlet for my own creativity - and yet, I find that I am being inspired by so many others who also simply started their own blogs for an outlet.

I love the net.

I love my blog.

I love that it brings me new contacts.

I love my husband.

I love my faith.

And........... finally................. I love myself.


Finally......

.

16 comments:

Princess said...

Congratulations Mr 2!

I commend you on your openness,frankness and self confessions that you have in fact come to accept yourself as you are!

It is a truly fantastic thing to be able to love ourself and say it out loud!

It is not an easy road to self discovery, as I too have been battling depression and have been out of work for the past 9 years and a life time of battling the bulge which fortunately I am now on top of.(I will never have ripped abs or a career in modeling) But I can say that I am improving every day and that life is good and I am learning to love myself

Happy Birthday celebrations for tomorrow, and enjoy yourself.

Damien Oz said...

Much gratitude your Highness.

Welcome to 2 Cents Worth and congratulations on your success with the bulge.

It's a bitch to conquer but well worth it.

Shalom

Damien

Cubby said...

Happy Birthday Damien. I'm sending you my love from across the deep blue sea.

My sister was also born on the Ides of March. She's 59 this year.

Sean said...

Happy Rebirth!

SteveA said...

That's the right attitude, and it sounds like your on the right path! Happy birthday!

EMikeGarcia said...

:-)

Dyl said...

Happy Birthday and all the senses of the words.

Glad to know you :-) x

savannah said...

happy birthday, sugar! all the best now and always be yours to revel and delight in. xoxoxox

(i've sen y'all at mj's, but today, princess sent me!)

xl said...

Happy Birthday mate!

Oh Hai Savannah!

mago said...

Hello, Happy Birthday Damien!
Masel und broches!

Came here via Princess.

MAC said...

Wonderful post. Here's to new beginnings!!!

XOXO
MAC

Princess said...

Dear Mr 2,
I hope that you don't mind but I've left a little someting over at the Palais for you!

And again, have a great day...

Damien Oz said...

To all of you thanks so much :)

I have an ear to ear grin from your kind words and lovely notes.

Your patronage on 2 Cents Worth is always appreciated.

Princess - you rock :)

Wesley said...

Damien... you are great. I know only a little about you, but I think I'm a great judge of character and I can honestly say I think you're a great person, with a great heart, with an undying love for life.

It's always exciting hearing from you on my blog. And honestly, there have been posts, and always will be posts, where I think to myself "I wonder what Damien will say about this..."

Please don't ever stop blogging you sexy little bitch, you.

ToddyEnglish said...

What a wonderful post. I love reading stuff like this! =0)

We love you too...=0)

Cheers!

Wonder Man said...

Happy Belated Birthday! Sorry, I'm late