...WTF ......... Feeling Stupid? .......... These Morons Are................

...............a giggle to help you feel better :)

Got me chuckling

Shlaom

Damien

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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as

Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,

because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,

but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the

world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but

not with all those flies and death and stuff."

--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of

your life,"

-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for

federal anti-smoking campaign

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"

--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates

in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and

I'm just the one to do it,"

--A congressional candidate in Texas .

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities

in our air and water that are doing it.."

--Al Gore, Vice President

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"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix ."

-- Dan Quayle

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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

--Lee Iacocca

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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like

Norman Einstein."

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of

people."

-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we

received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply

if there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."

--Keppel Enderbery