Friday, 10 December 2010

......2 True......... Certain Universal Truths................

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Google Maps really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty
sure I know how to get out of my neighbourhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the
rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t
want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten-page document that I swear I did not
make any changes to.

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this -

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn
it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voicemail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” option.

21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to
finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and

25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and
smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to
prevent an arse from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but
no matter what the mode of transportation I use, I always hate cyclists.


queer heaven said...

True, true! except for the one about the cyclists.

Eran Evan said...

My Hubby and I couldn't stop laughing, especially 7 & 15 and the best, by far, is 16!

Wonder Man said...

good points

cb said...

I like #20. Google needs to work on that.

Mr. Toddy English said...

1.) See, I am always scared that when I die my mother (were I to outlive her)would find my porn collection. That may very well take her out right after me.
2.) so TRUE! But I know how to BS my way out now.
6.) I like to use cursive fonts for e-mail, haha.
8.) I always thought I was the ONLY person who looked for cause of death in the obits! It really would be interesting to know though.
10.) OMG, I did some of my best writing over MISTAKES!
11.) Gospel truth.
12.)Oh you actually got Blu Ray? When it came out I said "fuck it." This is why I never played another video game after they upgraded Sega genesis.
15.) I've always wondered about this too. You took all that time to ring then you're gone? Sometimes I think a masked ninja was hiding in the house...
21.) I'll watch movies from when I was younger and realize how dumb they were.
22.) touche!
25.) YES! Oh my god I especially hate it when I meet a Nigerian person with a really thick accent. I just pretend I know what they're talking about (after asking can you say that again for the 57th time).
28.) this is the reason why I NEVER want to teach.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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