Friday, 10 June 2011

..........2 Know...................My Fears................

..........I shared recently what gave me joy - so I thought I would also share what some of my fears are.....

..I don't do this for an "Oh poor you" thing - but as I am currently actively trying to get on the right side of my depression rather than the "wah wah wah poor me" side - someone suggested I do this and it sounded kind of cathartic so................... therapy here we go lol ......

My name is Damien and these are some of my fears......

I fear many things and here are a few .....

I fear - HIV - I have seen what it can do to others.....

I fear - My own illness - clinical depression can progress to manic depression AKA Bipolar Disorder....

I fear - The Dark - I really do. It seems to be a phobia I have but the dark has always terrified me. Even now I get twinges when I turn off the light and join Bubb in the bed....

I fear - Failing at those goals I have set myself for this year.... My Novel and My Script....

I fear - For Bubb - he is a wonderful man who deserves every blessing that life can give - but I do know that sometimes life does not always reward the good people.........

I fear - People. I know it is most likely linked to my depression but I find large crowds scary - which is a pain the arse when I **lerv** to shop but not a HUGE fan of crowded malls.'
E.G. I was in Sydney not that long ago and met a blogger there that I have been a huge fan of for a long time (not Brenton from Aussielicious) but couldn't spend as much time as I wanted to coz the club was kind of crowded and it freaked me out ...I fear that I made a bad impression ...

I fear - That there will NEVER be a decent Wonder Woman film or TV series...... Such a HUGE fan base and impact on popular culture and yet the recent attempt at a pilot was a MOCKERY....

I fear - That The Middle East is going to be World War 3......... Iran is NOT going to leave Israel alone - not with it's present regime - and if it makes a move against Israel BOOM!! - world war 3... and it will be Nuclear.....

I fear - That my faith is fake. That whilst I *believe* in HaShem - He/She may actually not exist..

I fear - My mothers' advancing age - She is only 66 now but I worry how her health will be in 5...10 years time - I have so much I want to share with her.....

I fear - For happiness...............or more importantly lack thereof............ But I realise that happiness is also a journey you have to be in control of.........

I fear - Of boring my bloggers with TOO long a list lol - so here is where I will end..........

What do you fear?

Shabbat Shalom

Damien

6 comments:

Prince Toddy English said...

Mine are as follows (nothing prolific like fear of a life unlived mind you)...
1.) Heights - I close my eyes when I am ascending glass escalators. And I don't care if I EVER ride a roller coaster. BUT, I will ascend heights if it is important.
2.) Vomiting in public - In 4th grade I got sick and threw up in class. It was so embarrassing. Now I have a silly fear of throwing up in public. I think it's more of an image thing than anything.
3.) Germs and infectious agents - I carry hand sanitizer with me at all times.

Sue said...

There are too many real problems right now in the world to deal with to worry about much else. I try to focus on the issues at hand and not worry about the future too much. For example, is mom okay today? Yes! Great! Let's move on! Am I positive today? No. Great, let's keep wearing that condom! See what I mean? Is anybody bleeding to death? No. Wonderful! Let's get on with life! I highly recommend it as a way to stay sane.

http://suefairview.com/

Wonder Man said...

Thanks for sharing with us, Damien. Maybe I will follow your lead

Damien Oz said...

Toddy - I am so with you on heights. Not a fan.

Sue - So true - Mahaps I was having a LITTLE drama moment ?? maybe / maybe not???

WM - Personally I love doing this almost as much as reading them on other peoples blogs....

MJ said...

Mistress MJ knows that shit will always happen.

So enjoy the good times while you can before the next round of shit hitting the fan begins.

Good times.
Bad times.
Good times.
Bad times.

Rinse.

Repeat.

C'est la vie!

Kyle said...

A few that quickly came to mind:

Not having enough resources to care for Stan and myself as we age.

A dramatic fanatical/puritanical social shift in the US that actively intensively targets liberals or GLBTQ.

Not being able to finish all the things I want to experience in life. So many things and only about forty years left to take it all in.

Becoming immobile, mentally impaired, or loosing my mind to dementia etc.