Thursday, 24 November 2011

....2 Truth...... I'm Angry.....

....In case you didn't recognize my tone from yesterday's post - I'm angry..... Fucking angry.....

.....went to the counsellor today, and my anger encompasses many things and many levels....

I'm angry because I'm fat.

I'm angry that I gave up on myself and thus let myself get fat.

I'm angry that I lost my looks.

I'm angry that my relationship failed.

I'm angry I failed Bubb.

I'm angry that I wasn't allowed to stay in the USA and I had to move.

I'm angry that our business failed in NZ.

I'm angry that my faith is shaken.

I'm angry that my mother can't retire fully.

I'm angry that I have chronic clinical depression.

I'm angry that I'm financially ruined from NZ and will be paying it off for years to come.

I'm angry that life is so hard for me when I see other people of questionable integrity sail through life and appear to be rewarded for it.

I'm angry I have sequestered myself from the world because I fear it.

I'm angry....... And I don't know how to fix it just yet ..... But I am tired of being angry.

Blessings

D.

7 comments:

Queer Heaven said...

you are a good guy Damien,,,,,
There is not much I could say that would change your feelings of anger. I would think that just writing about it in a post must make you feel a little bit better.

Victor said...

Time to focus on the positives in your life, I think.

You have a band of blog followers who enjoy your work and look forward to checking on it each day.

You appear to have a good job.

You have a loving mother.

You look sexy to me, there are all types for all types. :)

I am sure there are other positives you can draw on.

Prince Toddy English said...

This is so therapeutic. I used to have a hard time admitting to myself that I was angry...It seemed impolite and uncivilized. But when I was recognized that I was PISSED that's when change started occurring.
You are on the way to complete healing with this confession.

thegayte-keeper said...

@ least you realize your anger. MANY of us don't

Damien Oz said...

Thanks for the comments guys. It's a WIP :)

Wonder Man said...

Let it out, let it go and move forward. You will get through this, boo.

the immigayrant said...

I was just about to point out what Victor said. You've got an amaaaaazing blog with tons of loyal readers. That's something to envy about. ^_^

Hope other things will turn amazing for you too!