....In case you didn't recognize my tone from yesterday's post - I'm angry..... Fucking angry.....
.....went to the counsellor today, and my anger encompasses many things and many levels....
I'm angry because I'm fat.
I'm angry that I gave up on myself and thus let myself get fat.
I'm angry that I lost my looks.
I'm angry that my relationship failed.
I'm angry I failed Bubb.
I'm angry that I wasn't allowed to stay in the USA and I had to move.
I'm angry that our business failed in NZ.
I'm angry that my faith is shaken.
I'm angry that my mother can't retire fully.
I'm angry that I have chronic clinical depression.
I'm angry that I'm financially ruined from NZ and will be paying it off for years to come.
I'm angry that life is so hard for me when I see other people of questionable integrity sail through life and appear to be rewarded for it.
I'm angry I have sequestered myself from the world because I fear it.
I'm angry....... And I don't know how to fix it just yet ..... But I am tired of being angry.