Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Addendum To My Rant......

Yes - there are good gays out there.

Yes - I was in a mood.  A mood I couldn't possibly explain to you.  Caused by bad gays.

No - it was never my intention to hurt those who "aren't" in the class of gays I was having a rant at.

Yes - I could have been more specific about whom the rant was targeted.... However, I also take for granted the intellect of most of my readers to be able to distinguish between the type of person I am ranting at.

There are a lot of you who are the "good gays" - for want of a better word - but we have to ask ourselves, why does there seem to be an ever increasing lot of bad gays.... the gays I ranted about below seem to be multiplying at an exponential rate....

Why?

Online........ In clubs........ Pubs......... there seem to be an ever increasing number of nasty gays.

We have to ask ourselves WHERE is this attitude coming from and why is it propagating at the speed it does?

Some of you are fortunate to live in places that have a positive and friendly gay community - not all of us do.

Indeed - it could very well be that a positive and friendly community is now the exception and not the rule like it was when I came out.

Maybe its an Australian thing? Maybe it's a more common thing but some of you are clearly blessed with great social circles?

All I know is - my rant was aimed at taking THAT type of gay to task - not my loyal readers - and if you have been dropping by as long as you have, you should know by now my rants whilst SEEMINGLY generalised, really aren't.

Work with me here - I'm a little nuts remember.

Damien

PS

Here's a stunning example of Tuches Tuesday in concilliation.

Shalom and Blessings.


7 comments:

SEAN said...

There aren't good gays and bad gays there are just humans. If there seem to be more bad humans it is because humans have changed or you have changed or both have chafed. I'm sure if you were to go out and find your straight counter part, he would have many of the same things to say.

When I say you have changed - this is neither good nor bad bud asks how different you are today from the person you were back when there weren't so many bad humans. Could it be that back then you were not as nice as you are now and so you didn't think those around you weren't so bad? Are you simply more aware? Evolved?

For me, age, trials and tribulations have shaped my perspective and expectations of myself and of those around me. Was life better 15 years ago? In many ways yes and in others no but this is were I am now. And like you, but suffer from depression but my monster attacks me very differently than yours attacks you.

Damien said...

Sean - I genuinely appreciate the time you took to post such a thoughtful comment. Whilst I think most of it is valid, I have to say I don't have the same experiences with straight men that I do gay men. I've always had straight male friends and they are nice decent ppl - exceptions of course - but I find so many gays (that put themselves out there - let me qualify that) are so caustic and rude and divisive. Was I like this back then? No. I had been bullied horribly at high school and made a choice never to treat anyone in a similar fashion. I truly remember nicer people being out on the scene, online etc.

Maybe we are all just a little less nice than we used to be?

I don't know matey. I put this out there on my blog coz it's my current stream of conciousness.

And yes - the Monster is different for everyone - annoyingly :)

Take care and thank you so much for such honest and thought provoking feedback.

Shalom and blessings.

Linx said...

Damien, I couldn't agree with you more on this! It's not just where you are. here in NYC it's the same and I think even more so! I have been out over 40 years and some of the things that are said to me by other gay men(mostly young obnoxious wanna be's) is unbelieveable. My attiude is "F" off let's see if you even make it to my age and look half as good.
But, you are right, it has changed a lot and will continue to do so. I hope it gets better for all of us.
Cheers,
Sal

KDNA said...

Perhaps it's because most of those gays are younger, and feel more freedom and less oppression. Maybe it's because they don't have the same common passions to fight for.

Stonewall and the Toronto Bathhouse Riots and Harvey Milk and Rev. Brent Hawkes all created a movement, something we could ALL stand behind regardless of what gay group we belonged to because ultimately, it was because we were all GAY.

These bad gays don't have the experience of having to fight to overcome oppression. Even now, the fight for marriage equality...are they out there, organizing and protesting, or are they sitting complacently in a lounge somewhere letting everyone else do all the work? Do they just assume they're going to get what they want?

Maybe they just don't care, because they haven't had the opportunity to actually FIGHT for something.

It must be generational. I don't see this experience amongst gay men and women who are in my age group or older.

They won't change until something changes them. It won't be you ranting about them, and it won't be me bitterly sniping out a "you're welcome" when they disrespect the past.



EMikeGarcia said...

I've actually had the opposite experience as I've grown older and spent more time in the gay community. However, I am from a Conservative pocket in the Liberal state of California, so we tend to have a bit more of a sense of community.
Although Kevin does have a point, one night I was out with some friends and a younger guy actually asked who Donna Summer was the day she passed. Although I wanted to slap him, I also understood that things and culture change. He's just more interested in what cut of beef Lady Gaga is wearing.

I do have one question though, you say your straight male friends aren't as "evil," but you are talking about your friends, not the straight male community as a whole, which is rife with bullying, sexism, classism, racism and every other negative -ism I can think of. I believe, and this is just my personal opinion of course, that you are comparing the two communities unfairly.

That said, you prefaced your entry with "This is my personal experience," and you have every right to rant on your blog!

Damien said...

Mikey - I love your feedback - really - yours challenges me in a way that encourages me to think in a VERY different way. Thank you.

And yes- it is MY experience - and MY blog lol

PS Is the cancer support email sent out real??

EMikeGarcia said...

Glad I could help :-)

And, yes, the email is real... I'm doing a 5K walk tomorrow and raising funds for my team which is lead by two women who lost their mother, Bridgette, at a very young age.