There is a proclivity for people on gay apps/sites to describe themselves as CLEAN (Meaning HIV Negative). I am just going to do this in bullet point because as much as I want my say - this one makes me tired.
- Having HIV does not make you DIRTY it means you have a virus. Just a virus.
- Being Negative does not make you CLEAN. It must means you do not have the virus.
- Inferring that Positive People are DIRTY is like the old whiteys in the South referring to the Blackies as DIRTY because their skin colour was different.
- Take care casting the CLEAN stone - Have you ever had crabs? Scabies? Gonorrhoea? Chlamydia? A urinal tract infection? Cold Sore on the lip? - you did? YOU DIRTY FUCKING PERVERT!!
- Did you ever think that maybe JUST maybe, your demand for CLEAN ONLY could be that ONE straw that breaks the camels back for a positive individual who may also be clinically or manically depressed and decides "That's it" ? You would be surprised.
- Whilst it is your choice to request someone that is HIV negative, unless you want to bareback it shouldn't matter. If you are practising safe sex, THEIR status won't matter because you won't be at risk. And if you want to bareback, then you should realise that there is a group of barebackers who will say and swear to ANYTHING to get their load in you or yours in them. Just sayin.
- Also - if you are a neg guy with his system FULL of Tina, X, Crystal et al.... Really Rose?! Really?!
- Oh, and if you STILL feel the need to include CLEAN, then you clearly are just a fucktard bigot who doesn't realise it. But then again, maybe you do.
Excuse me - I need to go vomit now.
D
xox
6 comments:
Is someone having a preachy moment?
HIV- guys calling themselves "clean" is nothing more than overcompensating for a lacking in the self-confidence of their sexual prowess. So they try using that terminology to feel sexually superior. But in reality, they only lessen their sexual prowess. For being a good sex partner is not only about the body. It's also about having a good heart and mind.
As far as these HIV- guys calling themselves "clean" to ann HIV+ person who might also be diagnosed as clinically depressed, while a valid point, I think you're wasting your breath. For if they had any humanity they would have never went that route in the first place.
For me to preach it would have to directly affect me. Which it doesn't. And I don't believe calling out bigotry is ever preachy.
LeNair. The 2nd part of your comment is both ill-informed and beneath you. That sort of tacky comment is not something I'd expect from you.
Damien:
I have been HIV+ since 1980 (based on my numbers in 1986 per my doctor), and I share the same anger and resentment toward assholes who claim to be "Clean" and labeling me "Dirty." Fucking assholes!
Nonetheless, I do take partial issue with 2 of your points:
I have no problem with someone HIV- desiring to share their bodies with only other HIV- guys, and no problem with HIV+ guys engaging with only other HIV+ guys. There are so many gay guys hooking up, and if HIV determines who that is, that is fine by me. Whether its for one-nighters or long-term relationships, there are challenges that not everyone is up to handling: health care, financial security, emotions of fear and guilt, emotional support, etc.
And, while treatments that reduce HIV levels to almost nonexistent and practicing safe sex HUGELY diminishes risk of transmission, that is not the same as risk free. There have been a handful of studies following undetectable HIV levels in blood show unchanged levels of HIV in semen. Treatment and safe sex, simply do not eliminate the risk. Even if that risk is 1:1 million, using 3% of men as gay, there are approximately 350,000 gay men in Australia and 5 million in the US, times, say average 10 sexual encounters/year, 3 to 4 Australians and 50 Americans would become infected. Small risk, but risk all the same.
****
Love your blog.
Damien, somehow I think you misunderstood the 2nd part of my comment. For there is nothing tacky about what I said at all. What is tacky is the HIV- person's behavior and motivations for it.
My comment in no way attacked an HIV+ person who is clinically depressed. It attacked the HIV- person who is tries to feel superior to the HIV+ person. With that in mind, I said you're wasting your breath because that HIV- person knew they were wrong the second they fixed their lips to insult that HIV+ person with that terminology. And in that strive for a feeling of superiority, they could care less in what results from them getting that feeling, and that includes a clinically depressed person's suicide.
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