Showing posts with label Douche. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Douche. Show all posts

Thursday, 1 November 2012

Chris Brown - Halloween Douche...

Here is the article from Dlisted... I am verklempt and stunned at this.

On behalf of the world I apologise to the Arab and Islamic people of the world. 

Chris Brown is clearly ......... um...... retarded.

Chris Brown Is Really Trying Hard To Be The Worst

They're really slow clapping in Hell for Chris Brown tonight. Just when you think that Chris Brown is as worthless as a piece of dried dog shit stuck in the crevices on the bottom of your sneaker and can't get any shittier, he finds a way to get even shittier! Fist Brown and his pack of dick bags thought it would be really hilarious to dress up as stereotypical Arab terrorists for Halloween. Don't even bother asking WHY? Only tampon-brained toilet turds who are only capable of making crap decisions would pull some shit like this and that's exactly what Chris Brown is.
Since Chris Brown is trying to be some hard terrorist, I just have to ask: Where are SEAL Team Six when we really, really need them?

Where IS SEAL Team Six??

Oy vey........... the above will go a LONG way to healing Arab-American relations....

D

Friday, 18 September 2009

..........Douche.................. Tom Cruise Says He Is Hot Sex.............

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............I think I just threw up in my mouth a little...................





Tom Cruise 'excels' at sex. The 'Wichita' actor made the admission when he was asked about his performance during an appearance on a US talk show alongside his co-star Cameron Diaz.

Host Jay Leno asked: "I know you're a pilot, what are you better at - flying or sex?"

Clearly embarrassed by the question, Tom began squirming in his seat before joking: "You know what, I don't know. Having sex with me is like flying, Jay. I try to excel in all areas and I've never been asked for a refund, so I don't know."



Tom was equally as mortified when Jay quizzed him on his weekend habits.

Asked if he ever visited strip clubs, Tom went bright red and replied: "Actually I never have been, ever. Sorry to disappoint you."



Sensing his embarrassment, Cameron tried to calm the situation down, adding: "It's kind of hard to be Tom Cruise and go to a strip club, you guys seriously!"

Tom responded: "I swear, if I went I would say, 'Yeah Jay, of course I went.' "


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..............Douche................... George W. Bush.....................



PRESIDENT George Bush believed that Barack Obama was ''a cat'' who ''had no clue'', dismissed Sarah Palin as a nonentity and insulted Hillary Clinton for having a large backside, according to a new account of the White House under the former president.



For all his public politeness, Mr Bush privately mocked his fellow politicians, according to his former speech writer Matt Latimer, whose book Speech Less: Tale of a White House Survivor has been awaited with anxiety by members of the previous US administration.



In extracts published by GQ magazine, Mr Latimer claims Mr Bush reacted furiously to criticisms by Mr Obama.

''He [Bush] came in one day to rehearse a speech, fuming. 'This is a dangerous world,' he said for no apparent reason, 'and this cat [Obama] isn't remotely qualified to handle it. This guy has no clue, I promise you.' ''



He claims Mr Bush then paused and said to no one in particular: ''You think I wasn't qualified? I was qualified.''

Of Mrs Palin, the Republican vice-presidential nominee vaulted from the obscurity of governing Alaska, Mr Bush joked: ''I'm trying to remember if I've met her before. What is she, the governor of Guam?''



Mr Latimer recalls Mr Bush telling aides after Mrs Palin's nomination: ''This woman is being put into a position she is not even remotely prepared for. She hasn't spent one day on the national level.''

Appointed in 2007, the author observed a president with sharp political judgment often dispensed with a sarcastic, rude or humorous flourish.



Mr Bush believed Mrs Clinton would win the Democratic nomination but thought she may have underestimated the job at hand.

''Wait till her fat [backside] is sitting at this desk,'' he is alleged to have said.



However, the reality of working at the heart of power was a disappointment, according to Mr Latimer. ''It was less like West Wing and more like The Office,'' he writes.


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Wednesday, 16 September 2009

...........Top 10 Reasons Kanye West Is A Douche..........

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............. shamelessly lifted from
The Best Article Every Day . Great site - go over and laugh till you pee yourself a little. I did.


Kanye West is a douche for many, many reasons, but it is easy to falter and find yourself thinking “Man, that Kanye’s a pretty wicked dude”. It happens to the best of us, we falter at times, but it shouldn’t have to happen. I have narrowed the proofs of his douchiness down to a ten-point emergency checklist that folds easily into your pocket or wallet for those times when his blinding douchebaggery eludes you.


1. He douched out at the Grammy’s when he took the stage to accept his award, refused to leave the stage when his time was up, and then actually told them to stop playing the get-off-the-stage music so that he could keep talking. Me Kanye. I bes vewy, vewy important.




2. His new album, due out on November 24th, is a departure from his usual style, as he sings more than he raps. That is all good and well, because he is a talented musician, but then he had to go and douche it up by saying that this change in style is an attempt to challenge the likes of Jimi Hendrix and Paul McCartney, who he describes as “those artists in black and white photos”, because taking a crap on music legends serves to make Kanye’s genius obvious to all and sundry.




3.
In a recent interview, Kanye said, and I am not kidding: “I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice. It’s me settling into that position of just really accepting that it’s one thing to say you want to do it and it’s another thing to really end up being like Michael Jordan.”




4.
In that same interview, he showcased his inveterate respect for other performers by slamming Justin Timberlake: “There were people who had the potential to do it but they went on vacation, so when Justin went on vacation I made albums, and it just came out to be that.”




5.
Kanye pulled the race card when it was announced that Britney Spears would be hosting the 2007 Video Music Awards. “I can’t believe she would perform. She hasn’t had a hit record in years. Maybe my money’s not right. Maybe my skin’s not right.” Riiiiight, that’s it.




6.
In an interview with Tim Westwood, Kanye said “I’m doing pretty good as far as geniuses go… I’m like a machine. I’m a robot. You cannot offend a robot… I’m going down as a legend, whether or not you like me or not. I am the new Jim Morrison. I am the new Kurt Cobain… They feel like, yo, you know ‘he’s got a God complex, because he said if they wrote the Bible again that he would be in it’. Duh, yeah, I would be in it. I feel like I’m one of the more important people in pop culture right now… The Bible had 20, 30, 40, 50 characters in it. You don’t think that I would be one of the characters of today’s modern Bible? And people have their own forms of bibles now. It’s a new day and age…”



7. In a display of extremely douchey poor sportsmanship, he now claims that the MTV awards shows are fixed, because how could the “voice of this generation” lose otherwise?




8.
There are ten Facebook groups that come up when you use the search terms “Kanye West douche”.




9.
Kanye West blogs up a storm. Mostly he’s fairly boring, but he drops these gems once in a while that turn being a douche into a spectator sport.



10. When his video for “Touch the Sky” did not win at the MTV Europe Music Awards, Kanye publicly expressed his incredulity. “It took a month to film; I stood on a mountain; I flew a helicopter over Vegas. I did it to be the king of all videos and I wanted to walk home with that award,” he complained. Kanye? Whining about how you are not the most popular will not work to make you more popular, but it will get you a “Top Ten Reasons Why Kanye West Is a Douche” checklist. Congratulations.


Congratulations Kanye - 'tis official ......... you are a DOUCHE.

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Monday, 14 September 2009

......................Douche Of The Year ...................................





Please go away.

You have no class.


You give humanity a bad name.


And you are a douche.


Bye bye now.

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