Wednesday, 14 September 2011

.....2 Ponder........What's Happening In Your World?....

......So........... What *IS* happening in your world?.......

Are you on top of it?

Are you in control?

Are you effecting positive change?

Are you in a hole?

Are you defeated?

Are you worrying about other worlds rather than your own?

Are you wondering what the fuck I'm on about?

I'm writing about this as I was reminded today that there is NO change you can effect that will be long lasting or 'real' except in your world......... What is YOUR world? ...........

...As Businessman Bob up there shows you.......... your world is just about you and MAYBE half an arms length - THAT is your world.

It isn't New York - Orlando - London - San Diego - Manchester - Sydney - Tokyo - Haifa - Brisbane or back country Alabama............. it is simply Y-O-U........

Many years ago back in Orlando, I was in therapy for my depression with a psychologist - Ellen was her name - and I was fixated on the effect my illness and poor decisions had on my then partner.......... her look was priceless......... she followed it up with "Are you kidding?" ... she then said the following.....

There is absolutely no way that you can effect change - positive or negative on another person, even your partner. The only thing you can do is effect change within your own world. That's you by the way. This is the ONLY area of life we can put down concrete, 100% tangible, real change that is something that we can experience and know. Even in a partnership / marriage / close friendships, our worlds only briefly overlap. Even then, only the overlap is something you can interact with and even then ONLY with the permission of the other person. Affect yourself. Let others take care of themselves, because you can't. If you think you can - your world is mirrors and smoke - and you will first get lost and then you will suffocate.
I'm a professional psychologist and even now, I can't effect you or your world. I can provide options, tools and some choices - but that's it.

These words rang true for me this week as I attempted to help a friend get into counselling and the frustration I felt as they pushed back. The thing is I have no business trying. Yes I can give them a print out or email them the website link and say "these are the options open to you" but ultimately I have to let go and let them either choose to go or not. Assist them-self or not. Change their OWN world or not.

This realisation basically reminded me that I was not adequately managing my own world. So, I remembered a lesson - re-learnt it - and I am now applying it. Hopefully, in a positive way. For example...........
  • To progress in my career I have to be open to leaving my town.
  • To change my life, I have to willingly be open to changing not just my location, but my head-space.
  • To assist others - I have to let go.
  • To let go - does not necessarily mean walking away from those important to me.
  • To put a foundation for my future happiness, I have to unsettle my current comfort level.

So ..................... how is YOUR world? And what are YOU doing in it?

Or - are you too interested / involved in other peoples worlds - than your own?

Shalom all



Wonder Man said...

I'm good, just trying to stay in the game. But I like to make sure my friends are okay

The Mistress said...

Are you worrying about other worlds rather than your own?

I’m trying not to give unsolicited advice.

Damien said...

SO Mistress - are you saying this post is inappropriate?

The Mistress said...

Oh heavens no.

I'm saying that I have a bad habit of doling out advice to people that haven't asked for it and I'm trying not to do that.

Damien said...

I know how you feel - Im a born nudzh and I wanna get my nose into everyones business - very hard habit to break.