As someone who was only big recently in life ( most of my life I was thin and buffed ) ..... let me tell you - as a society we treat fat people terribly.
When I moved to Orlando Florida in October of 2002, I was 85kgs with a 33 inch waist and a 50 inch chest - my body was mostly muscle.
Without getting into too much detail, I ballooned up to 125kgs in a year. Mainly due to the life of a housewife with too much time on his hands ( I wasn't allowed to work due to my immigration status ).
What I noticed when I got big was how I was treated in stores. I have always been into clothes and everything related to fashion in a rather serious way ( although my interest was kept quiet for many years ).
The event that stood out for me was one day when I went in to Kenneth Cole in the Florida Mall.
I was looking for a black short sleeve collared shirt for a party that I was going to. A lovely lesbian couple had invited us to their house for 4th of July and I wanted to look good. Anyway, I went to this store and was looking around and couldn't quite find what I wanted.
I stood there for a while waiting for an attendant to come to me, and then stopped one of them myself and asked "Hi. I am looking for a black or grey, short sleeved collared shirt. Do you have any?"
This guy - thin, buffed and worked out - looked me up and down and then said "Well we do... but not in your size."
I politely thanked him and left the store. I went back to my car where I sat there for 10 minutes crying uncontrollably. It was a day that I have never forgotten.
In fact, it is something that stood out when I read the somewhat silly comments made about Susan Boyle.
Because you may be bigger, or not as attractive as you may have been, does not mean beauty has forsaken you altogether.
The most important thing when it comes to personal beauty is that which we refer to as the inner beauty.
Your waistline will come and go - your ability to connect with others and to project who you are INTERNALLY will never leave you.
Consider that the next time you are out and see someone who may be carrying a few extra kilos / pounds.
How you react to them, could mean the difference between them feeling good about themselves, and them re-affirming their worthlessness by societies standards.
Shalom.
Damien
PS I'll do a follow up to this in more detail another time.....
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4 comments:
I used to work in clothing retail for eons. I would NEVER tell someone that we didn't have something in their size.
Only twice did customers come in and I knew that we weren't going to be able to accommodate them.
I treated them both like I would any other customer. They asked me for what they were looking for and I said a simple, "Let me show you what you're looking for." I showed, they asked for the size and I responded with another simple, "I'm sorry we don't have the size you're looking for."
It doesn't imply anything and no one walks away thinking I said anything like "Not in YOUR size."
For all I know, it's might not even be for them.
Personally, as a big bone-ed girl, I just don't ask for help. I don't want judgey eyes or ammunition for a weak self-image.
THE END.
Isn't it just so much harder to get back in shape now that you are older? Even though I am still thin, I am having a devil of a time getting back into fighting "hard-body" shape. I just hate that I let myself go. But, brain surgery will do that to you. I feel so not Lance Armstrong these days. Know what I mean???
We are all still beautiful in our own ways Damien!
Kevin - why couldnt I have got YOU in the store :)
Sue - yes it is harder - i used to be able to drop like 5 pounds with a thought - now 5 pounds is REALLY hard work LOL>
I know what you mean, but I never noticed until I had dropped over 50 lbs in less then a year. Then it seemed that more sales people approached you and offered help WAY more then when I was bigger.
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