.........My Fears......For Real...............

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1. I fear the dark. Always have. I don't know why. But the dark creeps me out.

2. Deep water. I fear the unknown underneath me. I don't like not knowing what could be there.

3. Small spaces. I am claustrophobic. Small spaces send me crazy. Elevators make me anxious.

4. I fear my depression. It has such a profound effect on ALL facets of my life. I wonder if I will ever win.

5. I fear fat. I stress about whether I will ever be thin and fit again. I have only been big since age 32 - before that - I was hot. But it is less about vanity and more about dying. Fat people tend to die much more easily.

6. I fear G-d. I don't understand why my life has been so fucking hard the last few years. Especially when my husband and I are good people who have only tried to do the right thing. HaShem needs to talk to me and let me know what the fuck is going on.

7. I fear cancer. My Nan is dying of lung cancer. I could deal with most other diseases - but cancer scares me.

8. I fear being forgotten. I have recently connected through Facebook with people who were important to me at different points in my life. Interestingly, for some of them, I was merely a footnote, something not worth remembering. It kind of hurts.

9. I fear my asthma. I never know when then "Big One" will hit.

10. I fear growing older. I want to grow old gracefully but healthily. I don't want to be a dribbling mess. I want to be the lovely old man on the street who still gets around.

I'd be interested to know what my readers FEAR - post em in the comments section and I will put them in the next post.

Cheers all

Damien
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