I appreciate that life should be a challenge.
I appreciate that there should be some work involved.
But when do you get a break?
I am finding that I have less and less to to draw on.
My own personal reserves are dwindling and the challenges just keep coming.
I'm not a bad person. I haven't always made the greatest choices, but I try to do good in my daily life.
So when do I get a break?
When does the universe/HaShem say "Okay - now you get to regroup and breathe".
I feel like I am suffocating.
And I am tired of smiling all the time and making it seem like everything is kosher.
.
9 comments:
it will come soon, just have faith
WM - my faith is shaky these days
I disagree with WM. Sorry. I don't believe that we usually get a break. I used to but honestly got tired of waiting. Life comes up with 'bumps' too many times and drops us on our arse. Just remember without all of the arse-dropping, it's hard to tell when you are feeling good. And don't worry so much about running out of reserves - that's when you call on your friends :). You know where I am D. xx
I'm feeling that Damien, now if I may weigh in with my own two cents worth...
You may be best advised to do what I've just done: take a break, put a little bit of time aside just for you. Even if it is just a weekend. Sometimes life in general creeps up on us. The best thing you can do is take yourself somewhere nice, some clean air, good music, fine wine and the opportunity to just clear your head might be just the thing.
I'm always available if you need it Damien - drop me a line any time you need m'dear.
As a fellow depressive, I know it's not always helpful to tell you what to do, but I will say this:
if you don't feel like smiling, you don't have to. you don't have to make everything look fine if it's not.
You have no idea how many of us feels the same way. I'm not a bad person myself but bad things keep happening to me, nothing seems to go smoothly and everything is a struggle. I think the key is to fight for it and be persistent, but what do I know?
Fuck that I don't even smile through it anymore. I'm a depressive also and always feel like the glass is half empty and going down fast. I'm 58 years old and I'm still waiting for a fucking break just once before I croke.
Sorry I couldn't be any help.
My thanks to you all for your warm and considered feedback.
Events in my life are pretty hectic and have been for the last year - and I guess it is all getting a bit too much.
Thankfully I have great people offering great warmth and I will take advantage of that :)
I'm a little late adding my 2 cents worth but I would say what Kevin said. I am glad you have people for support - it really helps - just knowing they are there, I think, is what does it for me.
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