Wednesday, 18 November 2009

.................I'M BACK !!!.......................With A Meme Even...............

........................enjoy - LOTS of news to come.

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth? Blood of twenty vestal virgins - it takes pure concentrated evil to look this good.

2. Where was your profile picture taken? The local ER after a night of "celebration".

3. Can you play Guitar Hero? Can you hold still while I nut punch you?

4. Name someone who made you laugh today. What was it about? I saw an old lady trip on the sidewalk.............. I'm a very bad man................... who giggles.

5. How late did you stay up last night and why? Late - it takes time to dig even a shallow grave.

6. If you could move somewhere else where would you and why? Czech republic - there I really CAN have a sixteen year old as a houseboy and not violate those damn pesky labour laws - Vive la Communiste!

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? No- but I've had a few kisses that gave me fireworks - that could have been the alcohol poisoning though.

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? Dick - and he knows what happens if he tries to leave.

9. Do you believe exes can be friends? With benefits? Yes they can be friends -unless they break your heart and stomp it in public like a rabid dog - then fucking them over takes on a whole new meaning.

10. Do you like Dr. Pepper? Yes - that whole spicey 'turn your head and cough' thing gets me every time.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? Really hard as opposed to just sniveling?
The day music died............... at least that's what he told me his name was.

12. Who took your profile picture? One of the 'others' in my head - he has a steady hand.

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? The neighbours - God bless a good telephoto lens.

14. Was yesterday better than today? Why? I dunno - ask me tomorrow.

15. Can you live a day without TV? Can you live with that lack of IQ?

16. Are you upset about anything now? Yeah - question 15 ya dumbfu....

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? Yes - and the hit man I have on stand by is clearly a coincidence.

18. Are you a bad influence? Define bad.

19. Night out or night in? Both - I am versatile after all.

20. What items could you not go without during the day? My dignity - now if I could just find where I put it last................................

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? The vestal virgins - a thank you card is the least I could do.

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? 50 for an incall.

23. How do you feel about your life right now? Pretty good - the sweaty crotch ain't rocking my world but I can live with it.

24. Do you hate anyone? Ask me that on a dark night.

25. If we were to look in your Facebook inbox, what would we find? Maps to the bodies.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? Drug is such an ill defined term.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? Yeah - they lied.

28. What song is stuck in your head? It's not a song - it's a tumour and I will thank you not to stare.

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2 a.m., whom do you want it to be? If it ain't The Rock - then it better be someone with a LOT of ready cash.

30. Do you (or did you) want to have grandkids before you’re 50? Nope - selfish bastards.

31. Tell us your Saturday night. Buy wine - drink wine - whine at hubby - good times.

32. Do you think too much or too little? Let me think about that and I'll get back to you.

33. Do you smile a lot? If you call a drug hazed smirk a smile - sure............. I'll go with that.
.

5 comments:

Michael Rivers said...

Great answers!! :-)

MJ said...

He's back!

Sweaty crotch and all.

truthspew said...

Fantastic answers. I'm particularly fond of your answer to #17.

And #15 was just pure snark.

Wonder Man said...

glad you are back

Damien Oz said...

Michael - Thanks mate -always try my best for you guys :)

MJ - I am indeed Mistress :)

TS - 17 is my fave :) - and I do snark on occasion LOL.

WM - Thank mister - glad to be back :)