......................Recently, two things got me thinking....
(1)................I was emailed re why I don't put Asian models on my blog.
(2)...............I interviewed Victor from Men of Color blog (link in sidebar - profile below ... read it ... he is spooky smart :))
..............it got me thinking that our little community - in all it's splendor and it is pretty splendorific - is pretty damn shallow.
NEWS FLASH !! ............. I hear your scream heavy on the sarcasm.
Now bear with me here - yes we are shallow - all human beings are, particularly in Western countries - but the gay community prides itself on it's intellectualism.
We are overly represented in the arts and in social services. We are also finally reaching decent heights in politics. Why then, when we accomplish so much, are our attitudes towards physical beauty so damn antiquated ?!?!??
Here's why I ask that question.............
Look at heterosexual culture. They love a woman with a big ass. Back when I was at university studying ballet, there were three of us gay guys in a class of 30 - ten of which were men. The straight guys ALL loved curvy women. None of them dated dancers ............. too thin. According to them a woman is supposed to have some fat on them. Rounds out all the features.
But as gay men we don't embrace this attitude. Yes there are those who are bear lovers and those who a chubby chasers - but they are genres of exception rather than a rule.
When was the last time you saw a bear with a 44 inch waist in the Gay.com advert?
Or for that matter, a gay man in a wheelchair on the Manhunt ad?
Uh huh!! You scream again - "but they're hook up sites!" .... and that is my point. Everyone hooks up - so why do we only see the ones that look like they were born with Olympian genes?
I worked in sexual health and with sex workers for many years and heard about all the different types they serviced from male models through to those with cerebral palsy. One thing I noticed was that they never said anything bad about their clients (the exception being of course the clients who could not understand boundaries). Their appreciation of physical difference was key to their success after all.
Why then, are we the average fag, not interested in these people?
Why do we not see pictures of gay men in wheelchairs? Why is chubby a fetish and not something that is simply accepted?
Let's be honest here, most of us aren't prizes. And most of us could NEVER hook the type that regularly appear on the covers of gay mags and papers - so why do we demand that ONLY that type be featured in our advertising and our porn?
Personally - I have always loved diversity. Whilst I loved a guy with a gym bod, my tastes were always broad enough that someone with a 45 inch waist had just as much a chance with me.
Now that I have a 38 inch waist myself - I find myself curious as to how I am viewed now. Do other gay men snicker at me as I walk past? Do they think "Poor thing" and wonder how ANYONE would ever be interested in me?
Perhaps this is a phenom that we in the blog world are assisting in perpetrating. After all, look at the guys I feature on my blog............... these are the guys that I would pay for......... literally ... if I had the bank balance that would allow.
So to my readers - as beautifully diverse as you are - I promise to do more in my little corner of the blog-verse to showcase some of that diversity that I seek in our community life.
To those who I may have offended - implicitly or explicitly - I apologise wholeheartedly if this has occurred.
If we are going to sing about our "diverse" community - let's put our money where our cock goes and really showcase TRUE diversity - rather than diversity of a six pack.
Your own input and discussion of this issue is welcomed and encouraged.