WTF........The Real Thing NEVER matches the Advertising......

Pics courtesy of Ashton Cruz Zoo.

Upgrade blog in Blogger......

Does anyone know how to upgrade their Blogger blog?

Apparently you get access to better templates so..can anyone tell me?

Cheers all

Damien

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Puns for the Educated......... not that I'm a snob :)

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but
it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class
because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder
and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope,
it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road
and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France
would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11.A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police
are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in
the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll
go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: 'Keep
off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a
hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was,
a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he
just didn't have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped
from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and
pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism
it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they
got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice
safe sects!

We've seen 'em before but DAMN they are funny :)

Pics contributed by Christopher ......... Thanks Pook :)

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What holds YOUR coffee these days? ........

It could be this :)



Link in the side bar :)


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Pictures Taken At Exaclty The Right Time...........

Pics supplied by Richard.........................thanks Dick :)

Proust Questionnaire...... do it ... you'll be surprised.

I just took the Proust Questionnaire and I have to say I am surprised at myself - embarrassed for myself - and comfortable with myself.

You can find it at....

http://hoelder1in.org/Proust/fill_questionnaire.html

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

To be unhappy by choice

Where would you like to live?

London

What is your idea of earthly happiness?

To be content with myself, my partner, my friends and my family.

To what faults do you feel most indulgent?

The society of self that we seem to have become.

Who are your favorite heroes of fiction?

Moses - Hercule Poirot - Superman

Who are your favorite characters in history?

Aristotle - Florence Nightingale - Queen Elizabeth I - Solomon.

Who are your favorite heroines in real life?

Mother Theresa - My own mother who is my role model - My Rabbi

Who are your favorite heroines of fiction?

Athena - Wonder Woman - Bionic Woman (I loved the kitcsh 70's)

Your favorite painter?

Monnet

Your favorite musician?

Bach

The quality you most admire in a man?

Self awareness - humility

The quality you most admire in a woman?

Nurturing

Your favorite occupation?

Trying to be better (tho not always succeeding)- its a full time job.

Who would you have liked to be?

Prime Minister of Australia

Your most marked characteristic?

A desire to be liked - even now.

What do you most value in your friends?

Loyalty

What is your principle defect?

Selfishness

What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?

To never have tried.

What would you like to be?

Respected.

What is your favorite color?

Blue

What is your favorite flower?

Gerbera

What is your favorite bird?

Eagle

Who are your favorite prose writers?

None at the moment

Who are your favorite poets?

Shakespeare

Who are your heroes in real life?

My partner - My Mother - My G-d

Who are your favorite heroines of history?

Queen Elizabeth I

What are your favorite names?

Stinky - Baby - Doodle

What is it you most dislike?

Stubbornness

What historical figures do you most despise?

Hilter - Mussolini - Stalin - Caesar - Ramses - Mao - Khan

What event in military history do you most admire?

Battle of Britain

What natural gift would you most like to possess?

The ability to sing - I have a terrible voice.

How would you like to die?

Old - Happy - Quickly

What is your present state of mind?

Reflective - Happy

What is your motto?

To try - To enjoy - To care.

He won.

RIP.

My metabolism is crap - and it's getting in the way of my goal.......

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I have a problem.

I have a suck-arse metabolism.

No - it doesn't perform random sexual acts without warning - it's just too damn sluggish!!

I have recently plateaued on my workout plan. Not gaining any weight but not losing anymore. *sigh*

My diet is good - I'm doing a good amount of cardio and weights. But I've just stopped losing.

So - does anyone have any suggestions?

I'm open to all sensible non-knee-jerk options.

Thanks.

Damien.

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Ladies and Gentlemen.................. the Butt :)

Anatomy

The buttocks are formed by the masses of the gluteal muscles or 'glutes' (the gluteus maximus and the gluteus medius) superimposed by a layer of fat. The superior aspect of the buttock ends at the iliac crest, and the lower aspect is outlined by the horizontal gluteal crease. The gluteus maximus has two insertion points: 1/3 superior portion of the linea aspera of the femur, and the superior portion of the iliotibial tractus. The masses of the gluteus maximus muscle are separated by an intermediate gluteal cleft or "crack" in which the anus is situated.

The buttocks allow primates to sit upright without needing to rest their weight on their feet as four-legged animals do. Females of certain species of baboon have red buttocks that "blush" to attract males. In the case of humans, females tend to have wider and thicker buttocks due to higher subcutaneous fat and wider hips.

Some baboons and all gibbons, though otherwise fur-covered, have characteristic naked callosities on their buttocks. While human children generally have smooth buttocks, mature males and females have varying degrees of hair growth, as on other parts of their body. Females generally have hair growth in the gluteal cleft (particularly around the anus), often extending laterally onto the lower aspect of the cheeks. In addition to such areas, males often have hair growth over the most (or the entirety of) the buttocks.

Connotations

The English word of Greek origin "callipygian" indicates someone who has beautiful buttocks. However, the qualities that make buttocks "beautiful" or "well-formed" are not fixed, as sexual aesthetics of the buttocks vary considerably from culture to culture, from one period of fashion to another and even from person to person.

In ancient astrology, various parts of the body were associated with signs of the zodiac - e.g. the buttocks to the Balance. Depending on the context, exposure of the buttocks in non-intimate situations often causes feelings of shame, embarrassment or humiliation in a non-exhibitionist subject, and embarrassment or amusement in a non-voyeurist audience (see "pantsing"). Expressions such as being "caught with one's pants/ trousers down" or more explicitly in Dutch, "met de billen bloot" ("with bared buttocks"), use the image as a metaphor for non-physical embarrassment as well.

Willfully exposing one's own bare buttocks as a protest, a provocation, or just for fun (especially but not exclusively practiced by youngsters such as North American frat boys) is called "mooning".

A "wedgie" is pulling someone's undergarments or swimming trunks up through their buttock "crack" to be hauled over the top of the victim's trousers, sometimes partially baring the victim's buttocks.

It is no coincidence that the English verb to spank is the only one specifically meant for physical discipline of a specific part of the body, and various other languages have terms specifically referring to spanking; in many punitive traditions, the buttocks are the preferential target for painful lessons, from educational to judicial, as offering them for punishment (especially divested) adds a psychological dose of embarrassment and even sexual humiliation to the pain, which can be meted out with less risk of long-term corporal harm than elsewhere. There are, in various cultural traditions, expressions like "seat of learning" which refer to the preferential paining of the posterior in a submissively bent and exposed position.

Many comedians, writers and others rely on the buttocks in these and other ways (such as flatulence and toilet humor) as a source of amusement, camaraderie and fun, despite (or in some cases for the sake of) the risk of being in dubious taste, if not censored.

Because in most cultures the buttocks are rarely shown naked, they are generally considered unsuitable for ornamental body markings and body modification, but may be preferential for discreet markings, such as secretive membership proof or to be shown in intimate company (e.g. amongst lovers).

In American English, phrases use the buttocks or synonyms (especially butt and arse/ass) as a pars pro toto for a whole person, but generally with a negative connotation. For example, terminating an employee may be described as "firing his ass". One might say "move your ass" or "haul ass" (or the polite, understood euphemisms "move it" or "haul it") as an exhortation to greater haste or urgency. Expressed as a function of punishment, defeat or assault becomes "kicking one's ass". Such phrases also may suggest a person's characteristics, e.g. difficult people are termed "hard asses" (polite euphemism: "hard nosed"). People deemed excessively puritanical or proper may be termed "tight asses" (in Australia and New Zealand, "tight ass" refers to someone who is excessively miserly). An annoying person or any source of frustration may be termed "a pain in the ass" (euphemism: "a pain in the neck", though some claim that this alleged euphemism actually appeared in English earlier than the former).

Synonyms

Look up buttocks in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.

The anatomical Latin name for the buttocks is nates (pronounced /ˈneɪtiːz/ or NEY-teez^[1] in English), which is plural; the singular, natis (buttock), is rarely used. As buttocks are an object of both shame and fascination, it is not surprising that there are many colloquial terms, euphemistic, ironic or other, to refer to them. These include the following:

• backside, posterior, behind and its derivates (hind-quarters, hinder or the childish homophone heinie, strictly the whole body behind the hind leg-trunk attachment), rear or rear-end, derrière (French for "behind") - all strictly positional descriptions, as the inaccurate use of rump (as in 'rump roast', after a 'hot' spanking), thighs, upper legs; analogous are:
  • aft, stern and poop, naval in origin; in nautical jargon, buttocks also designates the aftermost portion of a hull above the water line and in front of the rudder, merging with the run below the water line
  • caboose, originally a ship's galley in wooden cabin on deck; also the "rear end" car of a freight train, considered a cute synonym suitable for any audience

• • bottom (and the shortening "bot" as well as childish diminutives "bottie" or "botty"), but the use of similar-sounding booty (slang for the female body since the 1920s) as famously by K.C. and the Sunshine Band's Shake Your Booty, is an 'artistic liberty'; equivalents in other languages include the Latino culo from Latin culus, 'bottom'
  • tail (strictly anatomically a zoomorphism, humans only have a tail-bone, yet the illogical tail feather was popularized by musicians; also used for the even more sensual phallus) and tail-end
  • Tush or tushy (from the Yiddish language "tuchis" or "tochis" meaning "under" or "beneath")
  • Dumper sometimes denotates the buttocks, especially when talking about a large butt.
  • trunk, in American English, particularly when describing large buttocks "junk in the trunk". This usage refers metaphorically to an automobile's trunk.
• arse or ass, asshole, and (butt-)hole - a pars pro toto (strictly only the actual body cavity and directly adjoining anal region); also used as an insult for a person. The term is Anglo-Saxon dialect, and therefore dates back over a thousand years.
• badonkadonk - onomatopoeic slang meaning the voluptuously bouncing, large yet firm buttocks of a woman
• breech, a metaphorical sense derived from on older form of the garment breeches (as the French culotte meaning pantoloons, via cul from Latin culus 'butt'), so 'bare breech' means without breeches, i.e. trouserless butt
• bum - in British English, used frequently in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and many other English speaking Commonwealth countries, also historically in U.S., is a mild often humorous reference to buttocks, not necessarily in vulgar or sexual context: "I've a boil on my bum, thrice as large as my thumb" - The Judge With The Sore Rump, St. George Tucker. Also used in reference to anal intercourse, often as an insult, as in bum boy (for a homosexual). Also a verb - to practise anal intercourse.
• buns, mounds (cfr. Butte, a geographical mound, known since 1805 in American English, from (Old) French butte "mound, knoll") and orbs - shape-metaphors.
• bund - derived from Punjabi

• bunda - bottom, of Brazilian Portuguese origin.
• butt - the common term for a pair of buttocks (singular, as one body-part; cognate but neither its root nor an abbreviation) in the US, used in everyday speech. It is also acceptable in print.
• can (a container) had an unusual development: the slang meaning "toilet" is recorded circa 1900, said to be a shortening of piss-can, the meaning "buttocks" from c. 1910, verb meaning "fire an employee" (to flush=dump?) from 1905.
• cheeks, a shape-metaphor within human anatomy, but also used in the singular: left cheek and right cheek; sounds particularly naughty because of the homonym and the adjective cheeky, lending themselves to word puns

• culo - (From Spanish/Italian/) slang, usually meaning a woman's voluptuous, round and firm buttocks. Put simply the Latino equivalent of booty, although in Spanish it is considered vulgar and offensive (but less so in Spain than in Latin America).
• fanny - a socially acceptable term in print, in the United States at least, for many years before some of the bolder terms came along; and a subject of jokes, since "Fannie" can be a woman's name, diminutive of "Frances"; however, in British English fanny refers to the female genitals or vulva and is considered vulgar. The figure of a bare-bottomed lass named Fanny is ubiquitous in Provence (the southeast of France) wherever pétanque is played: traditionally when a player loses 13 to 0 it is said that “il est fanny” (he's fanny), and he has to kiss the bottom of a girl called Fanny; as there is rarely an obliging Fanny, there is always a substitute picture, woodcarving or pottery so that Fanny’s bottom is always available.^[2]
• fourth point of contact: in military slang, because of the sequence of textbook parachute jump landing
• fundament (literally "foundation", not common in this general sense in English, but for the butt since 1297)
• Gand or Gaand - a Hindi derivate
• hams, like buttocks generally as a plural, after the meat cut from the analogous part of a hog ; pressed ham refers to mooning against a window; brawn, a singular derived from the Frankish for ham or roast, is also used for both a muscular body part (but either on arms or legs) or boar meat, especially roast
• hurdies - British, origin unknown, also applied to the whole rump
• moneymaker, a term coming from exotic dancers and other entertainers who use their buttocks (even clothed) to earn money; usually referencing to females.

• moon was a common shape-metaphor for the butt in English since 1756, and the verb to moon meant 'to expose to (moon)light' since 1601, long before they were combined in US student slang in the verb (al expression) mooning "to flash the buttocks" in 1968.
• prat (British English, origin unknown; as in pratfall, a vaudeville term; also a term of abuse for a person)
• seat (of the trousers; or metaphorically) another long-standing socially acceptable term, referring to the use for sitting - but compare the sarcastic use of seat of wisdom and similar expressions, such as 'seat of learning', referring to use as target for an 'educational' spanking.
• sit-upon; has various independent counterparts in other languages, e.g. Dutch zitvlak ('sitting plain'), German Gesäß (~=guh|seys), Italian sedere
• six; in military terminology, particularly in the U.S. Navy, it refers to the term "six o'clock", i. e. a point directly behind the referenced person.
• ultimatum (Latin, literally 'the outer-most') was used in slang c.1820s.

For more slang terms for the buttocks, see WikiSaurus:buttocks — the WikiSaurus list of synonyms and slang words for buttocks in many languages.

For unrelated homophones of butt(ocks), see also butt (disambiguation) and bud (disambiguation)

Article courtesy of Wikipedia

What is this blog about Damien?

That was the question that I got from someone so I should probably give you a quick answer.

What I am trying to achieve is a magazine style blog. Bits of everything - not too much emphasis on any one thing.

The profiles are the star of the show - but I also will have WTF, Bit of Culture, Fitness Tip, and a few other things that will make regular appearances.

BUT I NEED YOUR HELP !!!

I would like to hear what you guys and ladies (Hi Sue) would like on the blog.
What current features do you enjoy? IS there something that ISNT on the blog that you would like to be?

Now - One thing the blog will not be is a total porn vid blog. I love porn as much as the next perv but there are plenty of those out there.

Okay - put your thinking caps on and email me your thoughts or pop them in the comments.

damientc@xtra.co.nz

Thanks All.

Damien.

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Bit more culture.

With our friends from the Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo.

Remember - these are guys - dancing en pointe - and doing an amazing job.

Oh.... and the music for the first two is Bach - how can you go wrong :)

Do we get more RIGHT WING as we get older? ....... How did I become Mr Grumble-Bum ?

Lisa - a friend of mine - asked me an interesting question....

"Do you think you've gotten more right-wing as you get older?"

The question took me by surprise because I had to truthfully answer.....

"Yes."

When I was younger I was SO off to the left I basically came around in a loop to the centre.


As I've gotten older I've noticed that my views on many things have moved more to the right. Not necessarily IN the right mind you - I was a big lefty - but certainly more centrist.

One of the areas is Law and Order. When I was younger, I was all about the traditional social approaches to the prison's system - intervention, education, rehabilitation etc.

NOW - thank G-d I am not in charge of the prisons - I'd be in there ripping out their plasma TV's and cable TV - the sporting equipment - and the libraries. Basic education would be the norm - murders and hard crims would be put in cells that absolutely reflected their crime. Infiringes would result in solitary confinement and I dont wanna hear how inhumane that is.

Another thing that totally stunned me was how I view kids these days. I actually get up earlier so I can take the bus that DOESN'T have school kids on it. I find I have NO patience with the little brats.

WTF?????

When did I turn into Herbert Horrible-Old-Person all of a sudden?

The other thing is boy-racers. Those 18, 19, 20 year old shit heads with the hotted up cars who race around my street with the BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM of their fucking bass systems blaring at a loud enough volume to rattle my bloody windows.

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???

I'm only 37 next month - when did I become a grumpy old bastard?

Is this a side effect of being happily partnered and domesticated? If so - my husband has some explaining to do let me tell you my man....


I have no tolerance for bludgers. No tolerance for teenagers who get pregnant and then whinge that their lives are ruined and the government should support them. If you don't want a child - use a fucking condom or just don't go flinging ya cooch around ya little slut!!

(oh dear - did I say that one out loud?)

I'm feeling a little faint. There is this horrible little man on my right shoulder whispering things in my ear such as "work for the dole", "mandataory sentencing", and even worse .......... "elevated age of drinking"


(wipes brow) - I'm going to get something to bathe my forehead.

I'd really like to hear what all of you think.

That was my 2 Cents Worth - and I'm a little afraid of it to be honest.

Thanks.

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