Friday, 11 June 2010

............... Open Letter To Perez Hilton.................

Dear Mr Hilton / Lavandeira,

I am writing to you regarding the four emails I have sent you over the last 12 months, requesting your involvement in a profile on my blog.

Firstly, I would like to thank you for not replying to the first three.

Secondly, I would like to thank one of your staff for sending what I can only assume is a standard “No Thank You” proforma that basically says “Perez doesn’t do stuff for free”.

Thirdly, I apologise that I can’t show you the offending and offensive email as I too know how to work a delete button.

Fourthly, you once was fat now is thin riding on the coat-tails of your gay/latino/hip cred piece of crap, if it wasn’t for the gay community, you would not have some little staffer to say no on your behalf.

How quickly people with big egos quickly forget the little people who actually gave them their start which quickly snowballed into the online juggernaut that now is Perez Hilton Inc.

Having spoken to some industry insiders in Los Angeles, I am hardly surprised to hear that you have an ego bigger than your previous waistline; a sense of morals that is shallower than a puddle in direct sunlight during a heat wave; and a sense of entitlement that makes the most digusting excuse for a Jerry Springer contestant look like a Philanthropic saint.

Thank you for not agreeing to do my profile.

In doing so, you have spared me the chance that your foul little personality may have rubbed off on me.

Kathy Griffin was right when she said “Fame whores only go for other fame whores……. That way we don’t have to respect each other in the morning.”

Of course, Ms Griffin is an extremely gifted comedienne and skilled in the use of satire ………. You are simply a once was fat / now thin / still butt ugly piece of crap that even the gay community no longer wants. You and Tommy Girl should form a club.

Rant over……….. we now return to a more satisfying schedule of blogging.

Have to admit – that did feel good though.