....Another comment from a heterosexual female.....
Now - Ladies - I am NOT making a misogynistic comment - I am simply sourcing the comment..
However, it does beg two questions....
(1) Why are gay men all about sex? (and we are - most of the time - let's admit it)
&
(2) Why are str8 women (in general) so prissy about sex?
(1).............
I was chatting with someone one day - I think it was a str8 male friend of mine back when I was studying ballet - who asked me if gay guys had more sex that str8 guys..... When I stopped laughing (yes I actually did) we got into a detailed discussion about (again in general) the coming out process and the subsequent experimentation that occurs. I noted that once you had gone through all of that the actual act of sex becomes almost a non-event..
Now - I am not cheapening the act of sex - what I am doing is pointing out how serious the event of sexuality emergence is compared to simply hooking up. PLUS - there is the other issue of hetero-normative importance - namely guilt - placed on sex.
Even today - in a culture saturated with sex and an overtly sexualised media - there is still a significant level of SHAME placed on sex and how and when it takes place. Children caught experimenting are punished - rather than educated. Teenagers who are dating have rules and boundaries placed on them - rather than parents or guardians sitting down and discussing the responsibilities and respect that relationships ( especially sexual relationships ) entail.
Now - when a gay / bisexual man gets to a point where he is cognisant of his identity - at peace with it - and exploring it - sex is easy. Relationships are still difficult - but the act of sex is an easy one. Plus us Men have one thing that women don't have .................. evolutionary hook-up genes.
I'm not joking. If you look at the evolution of man - placed in the context of a natural world - Man is a hunter and seeder. And I ain't taking corn and cabbage here. Males of the species have been designed by evolution to spread their genes as broadly as possible. Now, whilst gay men can't breed with each other (beyond the BB terminology) we still possess the drive. That's why I made the remark that women have a reproductive drive of 28 days whilst men have a reproductive drive of 28 milliseconds.
So - basically it's a long winded story - but evolution gave men testicles that DO NOT STOP producing sperm or hormones - and that makes us horny - most, if not all, of the time.
Now............. str8 women............... evolution made you people the Nurturer / Care-Takers.. and I personally think you got the rough end of the stick to be honest. Most women I have talked about this with - especially back in my sexual health days - had noted that their sex drive does wax and wane *generally* on a monthly cycle. Not that this is always the case. I have known some women whose sex drive makes a gay man look like a monk.
However, the most puzzling thing to ME is the generic attitude women *appear* to have towards sex. That is to be used as reward or punishment. Now - don't go Fatal Attraction on me here - because I'm talking from the standpoint of someone who has sat with groups of women who agree with this. And its the number one complaint of str8 men - that sex has to be earned....
Are you kidding me Ladies ?!?!?!? Really ?!?!?!?
And I have to ask - seriously I might add - if this is true, why the hell would women do this? What's the point of consciously doing something that is going to foster resentment and the potential of affairs? I understand that not everyone is in the mood all the time - but are women really so absent of desire? Or is it really just the politics of hetero-normative sex. If so..... then I have to say that str8 men AND women are getting screwed....... or....... not.... which is quite possibly part of the problem with how so many str8 relationships break down.
So again - for two posts in a row - a stream of consciousness that didn't necessarily lead anywhere - and that came from off the cuff remarks - but I'm keen to hear your reactions and POV's to this.....
Shalom and Blessings for you all
D
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2 comments:
Good post! A lot of the guilt aspect is directly from religion, Judaism first, then Christianity and finally Islam.
And we're all conditioned to believe it even if we're not religious.
But your point about women, I too have known a number of sexually voracious women that made me look like a monk! But good for them. Play the field before you settle down.
The other thing about those sexually voracious women? All are now married with a majority of them having kids.
very good post, boo
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