Showing posts with label Sexual Culture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sexual Culture. Show all posts

Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Truth Tuesday ... TIM Health ...

THIS is a very interesting article written by Paul Morris - Director and Owner of Treasure Island Media.

And let me make one point - this is from a bareback site....

I was SO impressed by this.  And I hope you are too.

TIM Health

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A Word From Paul Morris On Healthy Living -
The world is a tough place to live in.  And if you wanta live the way you wanta live–working toward that pigslut merit badge we all covet–you have to be ready for anything.
Part of being ready is keeping yourself and your body as fit and flexible as possible.  If you’re going to live the life of a sex-addicted slut (and I do encourage it as a way of life) you’ll want to be around as long as possible to enjoy it all thoroughly.
What do I suggest for taking care of yourself?  Well, some of my answers might surprise you, given the fact that around 99% of my life is spent totally engrossed in ruminations or salivations about cocks, men, sex … you get the idea.
Here are the eight steps I’ve come up with for making my life fit to live:
  1. Friends.  Nothing is more important.  If you don’t have a few friends and a core circle of guys you can confide in when times are tough (or just shoot the shit with when times are easy and good), then get out there and find them.  There are over 4 billion dudes on the planet at this point. You know there’s a bunch of guys out there looking for you, hoping to hang out and relax.                                   
  2. Culture.  You don’t live in a vacuum, and even a sex-hound like myself needs to know about the world he lives in.  I go to ballgames (SF Giants at SBC Park, of course), movies, read books, regularly check in on local news.  Write a letter to the editor of your local paper.  Get three-dimensional.    
  3. Be generous.  If you see someone in need, help them out.  It won’t kill you to give a coupla bucks to a guy on the street who is obviously having a hard time.  Trust your instincts: someone out in the cold on the street isn’t begging for the fun of it.  Walt Whitman made a point of giving money to every beggar he met.  Try it for a day.  Just remember to look them in the eye, deal with them like a human being, and smile.  You’ll likely be surprised at the response.  Or, if you’re uncomfortable giving dough to a total stranger, donate some time to a good charity or non-prof group.  I really believe the universe shines favorably on men who act generously toward others.
  4. Treat your body right.  Get a great massage once a month.  (Yeah, it’s cool to get one “with release,” but make sure it’s a great serious massage nonetheless!)  Try to eat right and get some exercise.  Set aside an hour or so two, three, four times a week.  Go for a walk after dinner. If you’re not quite ready for a gym, get yourself to walk past the gym a few times a week.  When you’re ready, go on in.  Or if a gym doesn’t feel right, try something else.  Be creative about engaging your body in your life (in addition to your dick, that is!)  Instead of driving to the sex club or bathhouse, try walking.  Watch what you eat.  If you think you need to upgrade your diet to something more body-friendly (Pony and I recently cut back to only 2 hot dogs for lunch a week), don’t do it too abruptly; ease into a good change.  Don’t make diet or exercise a punishment–for yourself or your friends. The human organism thrives on pleasure and rewards. Good food and physical activity are more than healthy, they’re part of the good life. Enjoy them!
  5. Find a great doctor.  A good doctor is one of the best friends you’ll ever have.  See him regularly.  Get over the fear of dealing with physical problems–real or imaginary–and let your doctor take care of you.  If you need health insurance, press your employer for it.  Everyone should have reasonably priced health care; make it a priority for yourself and your buddies.
  6. Go to an STD clinic on a regular basis.  The only thing worse than getting something like the clap is giving it to someone.  Things like syphilis, the clap, crabs and so on are simple to take care of.  But you have to know you have them.  Nothing to be embarrassed or nervous about–just get in to the local clinic on a regular basis.  I go every three to four months and have always actually had a pretty good time.  The folks who work at STD clinics usually have the best sense of humor.  When they give you a blood test, don’t hesitate to ask for a Flintstones or a Spongebob Squarepants Band-Aid.  I do it all the time.
  7. Laugh.  Humans need humor.  It’s a basic physical and psychological need.  Rent a Marx Brothers film or buy a season of South Park or Strangers With Candy.  Go to a bookstore and buy a joke book and put it on your toilet.  Laughter makes life work, and it’s right up there with sex in helping us not just get through a day but making it something wonderful and worth doing.
  8. Incorporate a sacred element into your life. Philosopher Gregory Bateson said that “The experiment of living without god has failed. We must believe in order to be.” Allow yourself at least an occasional contact with the sacred or the sublime, however you experience or define it. It may be a statue of Ganesh next to your bed, a copy of a sacred text that you leaf through on occasion, an annual pilgrimage to the Grand Canyon, a simple puja devoted to phallic worship, a monthly visit to a Buddhist shrine. Sitting quietly in a sacred space puts a man at ease and affords the opportunity to feel small, dependent and awed. And even a moment’s meditation on the grandeur of the cosmos makes for a richer and more meaningful existence. It’s only in love and worship that the burden of isolation is relieved and healed.

Monday, 28 May 2012

The Politics of Penis........

When I came out in 1990 (dragged out of the closet by my two closest friends at the time actually) there was no personal internet - no iPhones.... you got lucky by going to either a Beat (public sex environment / cruise area) - or a Gay Nightclub....

Needless to say - I knew where I stood in BOTH of these situations..... stood.... knelt..... laid back.... on all fours....... squatted....... bent......bowed............ sat.......... somersaulted (ill tell you about that one some day) ......you get the idea.  There was a smile.  A nod.  Sometimes a wink.  Often a blatantly suggestive crotch grab (me - guilty) and then it was on like two pigs fighting under a blanket - I heart those days.

NOW - O...........M.......... G........... Becky....... It.........Is ..........So..........Hard............... and not in the way I like.

There are SOOOOOOOOO many things you have to have to get some dick.

Some of them include but are not limited to......
  • Foreskin
  • No Foreskin
  • Bubble Butt
  • Nice Smile
  • All Your Teeth (Very important in the American South I hear)
  • A perfectly firm and full pair of Pecs
  • Smooth
  • Hairy
  • Daddy-ness
  • Boy-ness
  • Bear-ness (surprisingly common)
  • If an open relationship - one partner at LEAST must be Uber hot and be the top
  • Be total top
  • Be total Bottom
  • Be vers
  • Be prepared to BB (far more common than one thinks)
  • Be Just Around The Corner (this one seems to be a deal breaker)
  • Have At Least One Kink In Common
  • Have a Type Of Music You Like to Fuck To In Common 
  • You Must Be Masculine..... Not Butch.... (wtf ?!?!!?)
  • And ........... the most important of all.......... be under 40.

Seriously - I've followed French Cordon Bleu recipes that were easier than this!!

Also - apparently you have to be either prepared to talk for many weeks before meeting - or - be an action hero on speed dial with the only conversation being "Oh yeah fuck that ass!!"

Too much for this old fat 40 yr old bear...... I'm going back to French cooking - at least if that doesn't work out all I have at the end is something that looks bad but is still good to eat.......

Shalom

Damien
xox


Monday, 27 February 2012

....2 Gay... It's All Sex Sex Sex With You Gays!!.......

....Another comment from a heterosexual female.....

Now - Ladies - I am NOT making a misogynistic comment - I am simply sourcing the comment..

However, it does beg two questions....

(1) Why are gay men all about sex? (and we are - most of the time - let's admit it)
&
(2) Why are str8 women (in general) so prissy about sex?

(1).............

I was chatting with someone one day - I think it was a str8 male friend of mine back when I was studying ballet - who asked me if gay guys had more sex that str8 guys..... When I stopped laughing (yes I actually did) we got into a detailed discussion about (again in general) the coming out process and the subsequent experimentation that occurs. I noted that once you had gone through all of that the actual act of sex becomes almost a non-event..

Now - I am not cheapening the act of sex - what I am doing is pointing out how serious the event of sexuality emergence is compared to simply hooking up. PLUS - there is the other issue of hetero-normative importance - namely guilt - placed on sex.

Even today - in a culture saturated with sex and an overtly sexualised media - there is still a significant level of SHAME placed on sex and how and when it takes place. Children caught experimenting are punished - rather than educated. Teenagers who are dating have rules and boundaries placed on them - rather than parents or guardians sitting down and discussing the responsibilities and respect that relationships ( especially sexual relationships ) entail.

Now - when a gay / bisexual man gets to a point where he is cognisant of his identity - at peace with it - and exploring it - sex is easy. Relationships are still difficult - but the act of sex is an easy one. Plus us Men have one thing that women don't have .................. evolutionary hook-up genes.

I'm not joking. If you look at the evolution of man - placed in the context of a natural world - Man is a hunter and seeder. And I ain't taking corn and cabbage here. Males of the species have been designed by evolution to spread their genes as broadly as possible. Now, whilst gay men can't breed with each other (beyond the BB terminology) we still possess the drive. That's why I made the remark that women have a reproductive drive of 28 days whilst men have a reproductive drive of 28 milliseconds.

So - basically it's a long winded story - but evolution gave men testicles that DO NOT STOP producing sperm or hormones - and that makes us horny - most, if not all, of the time.

Now............. str8 women............... evolution made you people the Nurturer / Care-Takers.. and I personally think you got the rough end of the stick to be honest. Most women I have talked about this with - especially back in my sexual health days - had noted that their sex drive does wax and wane *generally* on a monthly cycle. Not that this is always the case. I have known some women whose sex drive makes a gay man look like a monk.

However, the most puzzling thing to ME is the generic attitude women *appear* to have towards sex. That is to be used as reward or punishment. Now - don't go Fatal Attraction on me here - because I'm talking from the standpoint of someone who has sat with groups of women who agree with this. And its the number one complaint of str8 men - that sex has to be earned....

Are you kidding me Ladies ?!?!?!? Really ?!?!?!?

And I have to ask - seriously I might add - if this is true, why the hell would women do this? What's the point of consciously doing something that is going to foster resentment and the potential of affairs? I understand that not everyone is in the mood all the time - but are women really so absent of desire? Or is it really just the politics of hetero-normative sex. If so..... then I have to say that str8 men AND women are getting screwed....... or....... not.... which is quite possibly part of the problem with how so many str8 relationships break down.

So again - for two posts in a row - a stream of consciousness that didn't necessarily lead anywhere - and that came from off the cuff remarks - but I'm keen to hear your reactions and POV's to this.....

Shalom and Blessings for you all

D
.