Sunday, December 30, 2012
All I Want In 2013 Is To Be Understood........
My "Monster" - Clinical Depression - means that my responses or reactions or actions can sometimes swing from one extreme to the other.
A blogger I look up to is no longer answering my emails. This blogger is someone I respect immensely and - along with Brenton at Aussielicious - got me inspired to build my own blog. But unfortunately he appears to have - I am guessing here - found my extreme swings and somewhat "quirky" ways difficult to deal with.
And as someone that he has no real link to or interest in, I feel he has simply washed his hands of me. I don't think there is any malice in his decision, but as busy as he is these days, I simply believe has come to the conclusion that he just doesn't have the time or energy for it. Again, which I can understand.
What saddens me though, is that I both like and respect this person immensely. I flippantly attempted to throw myself at him in a professional way, and it could have been misinterpreted in several different ways - one of them being that it may have been seen as me attempting to take advantage of his new situation.
This got me thinking......... I have been described by people as being "hard to keep up with". And I am. I have been told that I can come across as having one set of intentions, when actually my intent is completely different. The Monster can take me from wo to yay to "I want to go postal and take you all with me" all in one day....... sometimes all in one hour.
I'm a naturally effusive guy and can often be misinterpreted as being sycophantic or kiss-arse.
I speak my mind and will do so bluntly and with less eloquence and more cussing than I normally would and yes, sometimes I do tend to overreact. Again, in hindsight, I wish I hadn't but it is often difficult to stop the Monster from egging me on.
Not that I say any of the above to try to give myself free license to do or say anything and blame it on the Monster, more to show that the Monster DOES have an influence over me. Sometimes more. Sometimes less.
So here is my New Year Challenge to All of You......
Look beyond the obvious. Try to see me as something else than a blogger who "appears" to be all over the place. Ask me if you need to understand something or if I say something that you believe to be inappropriate or over the top.
I'm quirky. Cooky. And sometimes altogether ooky.
But I am also honest, loyal and will never lie to you.
After a year of being misunderstood by many, maybe now I can have a year where people really do see inside the bubble of the Monster and are able to distinguish between HIM and ME.
I am worth the effort. Just as I try to make the effort with others.
Because I/We should try :) - through the trying we often happen upon wondrous things we never expected to happen upon.
May 2013 bring you all health, happiness and hope.
Thank you so much for visiting throughout 2012.
My blessings and my prayers.