Tuesday, 23 April 2013

I Am Tired....

When I go to bed...

When I get up in the morning...

From my Depression...

For my friend whose depression overwhelms him...

A side effect of my anti-depressants and asthma steroid...

Of looking for a new job...

Of not being taken seriously - though that is partly my fault for playing the role I believe others expect of me...

Of being a pussy and too scared to finish my novel for fear of rejection...

Of being fat...

Of having no energy... at all... ever....

Of wanting a life but not having any energy for one...

Of waiting in general...

Of being a "politely treated but not engaged" friend to some people...

Of not knowing what I did to deserve the crap of the last 5 years...

Of putting on my happy / smiley face because people don't respond to who I actually am very favourably...

Of being fine one minute.... then feeling absolutely desperate the next...

Of trying to make choices that don't piss people off and failing...

Of being tired 24/7...


5 comments:

iama{GAY}tkeeper known as thegaytekeeper said...

be gentle with yourself :)

Mark in DE said...

My Spouse used to be tired all the time too, regardless of how much sleep he got. As it turned out, it was because he had sleep apnea. Once he got on the CPAP machine, it all changed for him. I suggest to ask your doctor about a sleep sutdy. Good luck!!

Mauro Paine said...

Depression sucks, pure and simply. I am trying to come to grips with mine.

It's an uphill battle, I know. We gotta keep going. We can't cave in.


Firm up and man up; we'll help you.

Mauro

Victor said...

I've no magic answers for you other than that I wait (figuratively) by your side patiently until you get through it.

Remembering Grace said...

I am right there with you. My doctor keeps upping and adding the antidepressants... I'm not sure what the answer is, I just know that every day surviving depression is a victory.