........2 Cents Worth....................... I Am Single.......

............My husband and I have separated...............

...........It's painful and it hurts....................

...........No one did anything............ no one cheated......... no one hit anyone........... what happened between us was a tragedy of errors............. errors caused by life and and the difficulties of life and the difficulties of choices we make ..........and do not make.............

.......I am not going into the why's and wherefore's of how we got to this point - suffice to say, multiple family deaths, clinical depression, financial issues and the best of intentions gone awry have led us to where we are.........

......The best thing is - we started with a beautiful friendship - and we still have that...........

So............ I would like to tell you about my ex-husband, and current best friend and still soulmate....

My "bubb" - my continued nickname for him regardless :) - is the most wonderful person I have ever met and here are just SOME of the reasons why........

• His integrity - he is a moral and good man who, if you needed money and he only had 40$ to his name, would give you 20$ and never expect you to pay it back;
• His humour - he is funny and at times makes me laugh the silent UGLY laugh that I do when I am laughing THAT hard.........
• He allows me to be silly - previous partners (wankers obviously) would always deride me for my sense of silliness and wanting to poke fun at and with myself......
• He has always made me feel safe - this is very important to me - with him I have always felt that there was someone who GENUINELY cared about my well-being and always worked to see that I was no longer scared.......
• His eyes - anyone who knows me well knows that for me it is ALL about the face - I don't care about a body - big, lean, muscled, scrawny, I don't care - the face is the thing you see when you wake up in the morning - and his eyes are a beautiful deep brown that when I look into them I have ALWAYS been able to see my soul in him - and through him, the goodness in me that I believed I did not have.....
• His absolute belief in me - He has always believed in my intellect, my talents (my music, writing etc) and he has helped me - over time - believe truly that I am a good and worthy person....... he even was the one who suggested I do this blog - THANKS BUBB!!!.......
  
• His touch - at those times where I have been in the depths of my depression or even when I was just having an "off" funky day - his touch would cause my heart to soar and my soul to sing..........
• His smile - gorgeous...................... enough said...........
• His brain - he is one of the smartest, most intelligent people I have ever met - and (not to blow my own horn) but on any given day I am smarter than 90% of the people in the room - and I don't hold a flame to him......
• The pinky - and he knows what that is.............

Whilst the overall situation can be described as sad and a loss - I am so genuinely blessed that this person came into - and continues to be in - my life.....

So I have a message for him here for all of you to witness............

"Dearest Patrick,
I am so sorry for the losses and the omissions and missed opportunities,
but I am so grateful that you continue to be here.
The previous 8 years have contained experiences and adventures that
can never be duplicated..
I hope that - in this new chapter of our lives - we create yet another set
of experiences and adventures that give us similar joys.
HaShem answered my prayers for you - and I pledge to HaShem today to continue to be
the companion and friend that you have told me you value so much.
I love you Bubb.
Shalom
Damien"

.

.........Photo Of The Day...........

.......the rings my husband gave me at different points in our relationship...... *sigh*......

Shalom

Damien.
.

.....For Husband........ Time Warp To The Early 90's....

..............Hubby was working his bad shit at the clubs in the early 90's and requested a music megapost from then..... also included some stuff he used to holla along to in the car.....

.............*sigh* I heart the Husband :)................









RuPaul : Back To My Roots

Steven the Accursed | Myspace Video











..........

........RIP...........Heaven Gained An Angel.......................

...................... on this day five years ago.

My husbands mother - "Momma" as I called her - departed this world and went to the next.

I had met her only weeks before her passing - thankfully - and I wouldn't trade the trip for anything.

Momma is intelligent, well read, and had an amazing life. She served in the Navy as the Top Secret Communications Officer (Lieutenant j.g.) to the Chief of Naval Operations during the Kennedy Administration. She had three sons, adopted a daughter, worked in the school system and ultimately - gave me her blessing and gratitude for making her son happy.

I don't want this post to be a sad one so I will share a story about my 2nd day with Momma.

Husband and I went to Denver to visit her. At this time Momma was frail and rather than drinking water, she was fond of eating ice chips. During the first day there my husband was making the ice chips for her, but at one point he was doing something else so I offered to do it.

The next day he asked Momma if she wanted some ice chips and she replied "Yes, please. But I want Damien to do it coz his are better than yours." - I already loved the woman, but this is when she "had" me. I was Ice Boy. So for the rest of the trip *I* was the one responsible for the ice chips. I loved it. And I love her and I am so grateful for the opportunity to meet her and to receive, in person, her blessing.

Momma is no longer with us here, but we feel her presence often. Sometimes when we remember a funny story about her, sometimes when a song comes on, sometimes its just a feeling of her in the room.

I love Momma. And I miss her. I would have loved to have listened to stories of her military service and all the funny things my husband did as he was growing up.

HaShem is taking good care of her now.

This song is for Momma, and my husband whom I am so proud to share my life with.

Thank you me letting me have him Momma :)


It's Your Song- Garth Brooks

*sara kwan* | MySpace Video