........2 Cents Worth....................... I Am Single.......

............My husband and I have separated...............

...........It's painful and it hurts....................

...........No one did anything............ no one cheated......... no one hit anyone........... what happened between us was a tragedy of errors............. errors caused by life and and the difficulties of life and the difficulties of choices we make ..........and do not make.............

.......I am not going into the why's and wherefore's of how we got to this point - suffice to say, multiple family deaths, clinical depression, financial issues and the best of intentions gone awry have led us to where we are.........

......The best thing is - we started with a beautiful friendship - and we still have that...........

So............ I would like to tell you about my ex-husband, and current best friend and still soulmate....

My "bubb" - my continued nickname for him regardless :) - is the most wonderful person I have ever met and here are just SOME of the reasons why........

• His integrity - he is a moral and good man who, if you needed money and he only had 40$ to his name, would give you 20$ and never expect you to pay it back;
• His humour - he is funny and at times makes me laugh the silent UGLY laugh that I do when I am laughing THAT hard.........
• He allows me to be silly - previous partners (wankers obviously) would always deride me for my sense of silliness and wanting to poke fun at and with myself......
• He has always made me feel safe - this is very important to me - with him I have always felt that there was someone who GENUINELY cared about my well-being and always worked to see that I was no longer scared.......
• His eyes - anyone who knows me well knows that for me it is ALL about the face - I don't care about a body - big, lean, muscled, scrawny, I don't care - the face is the thing you see when you wake up in the morning - and his eyes are a beautiful deep brown that when I look into them I have ALWAYS been able to see my soul in him - and through him, the goodness in me that I believed I did not have.....
• His absolute belief in me - He has always believed in my intellect, my talents (my music, writing etc) and he has helped me - over time - believe truly that I am a good and worthy person....... he even was the one who suggested I do this blog - THANKS BUBB!!!.......
  
• His touch - at those times where I have been in the depths of my depression or even when I was just having an "off" funky day - his touch would cause my heart to soar and my soul to sing..........
• His smile - gorgeous...................... enough said...........
• His brain - he is one of the smartest, most intelligent people I have ever met - and (not to blow my own horn) but on any given day I am smarter than 90% of the people in the room - and I don't hold a flame to him......
• The pinky - and he knows what that is.............

Whilst the overall situation can be described as sad and a loss - I am so genuinely blessed that this person came into - and continues to be in - my life.....

So I have a message for him here for all of you to witness............

"Dearest Patrick,
I am so sorry for the losses and the omissions and missed opportunities,
but I am so grateful that you continue to be here.
The previous 8 years have contained experiences and adventures that
can never be duplicated..
I hope that - in this new chapter of our lives - we create yet another set
of experiences and adventures that give us similar joys.
HaShem answered my prayers for you - and I pledge to HaShem today to continue to be
the companion and friend that you have told me you value so much.
I love you Bubb.
Shalom
Damien"

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......2 Cents Worth...... Do You Know Your Neighbours? .....

.............................all the recent accounts of bullying and LGBT suicides got me thinking...... why so many now? And to cut a long story of my polluted streams of consciousness - they converged on a single thought....... do you know who your neighbours are? And here is why..........

...When I was in school - Primary and Secondary - I was the "school faggot". I was the target of bullying both physical and verbal that had me crying into my wheaties more often than I could count. To make matters worse, I was an over-achieving faggot - something some of the school homos-in-hiding couldnt quite accept - hence the bullying.

The bullying dropped off at around age 15 - Year 10, 3rd year of Australian high school. The reason for this was eventually, everyone knows everyone else and everyone elses Mum knows everyone elses Mum. Word got back quickly if someone said something and hell hath no fury like a pissed off Mum on the phone to another pissed off Mum.

Which brings me to the above statement........... and no......... I don't know who my neighbours are.

For the last several residences I had NO clue who my neighbours were / are. I hear the footsteps on the shared staircase outside my bedroom. I hear the door open and close. Sometimes I ever hear the music or occasional banging of a bedhead against a wall. But I have no idea who they are or what their names are.

When I was a kid (yes I'm totally channelling my mother here) I knew everyone in our neighbourhood and all the parents looked out for ALL the kids in the street no matter if you were their child or not.

There were no guns or knives at my high school. There was the occasional pregnancy, usual drinking weekends and - to my delight - the occasional same sex dalliance - but nothing like now.

What the hell has changed?

I'm curious what you think of all this...............I'm not necessarily sure this *IS* a coherent thought - but maybe it might spawn a thought or two of yours.

Shalom

Damien
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........."Anonymous" Replies To My Post re The Canadian Seal Hunt......

"If you knew the scientific reason for the annual seal cull. In simple lament terms think too many seals in the oceans, seal eating and shitting in sea, the shit laden with parasites floating all over, fish eating with shit and parasites, parasites in the fish. parasites leach into the fish flesh. I believe it's called the food chain... Not very appetizing Eh! (did I say Eh! I guess I do)."


...................................Discuss................


***Update****

"i think it's interesting that you connect with the PETA blunt card, yet you abhor the annual seal hunt in canada.

hmmm....so it's okay to be humane only sometimes?

discuss.

(for the record, I am Canadian but I DON'T support the seal hunt.)"

.....................actually - I do abhor PETA because whilst it may have STARTED about the human treatment of animals, PETA have become an organisation more about celebrities and sensationalism. If it was up to the Directors of PETA - all of whom have been quoted as being FOR eco terrorism and against domestic pets - we would all be vegans who don't live in cities and live a tribal existence dying in our twenties from the common cold.

Yes - they are THAT bizarre.

The Seal Hunt is something completely different - the Seal Hunt is completely unnecessary and barbaric. End of story.

Now if you put the bong down and turn the porn off - go to Wikipedia and do a search on the food chain and how the REAL one works and not the "Im a pissy queen who will try to distort reality" comment that you made in the original post.

You can disagree with me - I think opposing views on a topic can lead to a full and frank multi-layered exploration of a topic.

Your comment, however, was ill-informed, ignorant and bordering on the ridiculous.

Cheers

Damien
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........We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties............

...............please stand by.

Blogger is not permitting me to post pics or vids.....

We will resume our scheduled programming when technology allows....

Shalom

Damien
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......................My 2 Cents.................... Has Become 1 !!!...

........it's true - my little blog is celebrating it's first anniversary. So will someone please fill my glass !!


I have to say .............. I am repeatedly humbled by the feedback I get from you - my valued visitors - and I thank you all for your continued patronage.

Here's to the next year :)

Shalom

Damien
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..WTF........... Vegans / Vegetarians - SHUT THE FARK UP !!! ................

..............Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan-tastic that you have made the decision to eat an ethical diet.

Good on you for choosing a healthy option for your innards.

Bravo for your ability to consider the plight of animals and how they are farmed.

Please piss off and stop preaching to me about it.

I am so sick of vege's and vegans telling me how I am a bad person for eating meat.

Personally - I usually respond by saying something pithy like "Hand me a chainsaw and a blow-torch and walk Bessy by my table !! - I'll help myself!!"

But here is the non-pithy version.

I like meat.

I like beef.

I like lamb.

I like poultry.

I like fish.

And yes - I know it was once a living being and is now a charred and marinated morsel on my plate.

Yes I know how it is farmed and more importantly I know how it is killed.

My people - Jews - were the first to put into practice humane farming and more importantly - humane slaughtering. In fact we are commanded by the Torah to respect all living things - and even more so those we farm.

I understand your choices and the reasons for which you have decided to make such a significant change in your life. I realise it isn't easy and that it is actually quite an expensive change - especially if you go completely organic.

But good for you. And I genuinely and sincerely mean that.

After all - HaShem gave the greatest gift He could to His people - Free Will. So please allow me to be as equally full and frank with you as you have been with me.

The reason - the sole reason - you are able to make such a balanced and informed decision is because your ancestors ate meat. Not organically grown legumes and vegetables - but meat. It has been scientifically proven that it was meat that was directly responsible for the growth of our brain. It is our eating of meat that enabled the growth of our bodies and the brain that now empowers you with the choice that you are allowed to make. It is meat that is the highest form of energy that one can derive from the ingredients of the natural world.

Due to this, we learned how to make tools, fire, the wheel, clothes, and eventually all the technology that we have today - including the ability to grow organic ingredients that allow you to live your life.

So................. Bugger off and allow me to live mine.

I am going to eat meat. I am going to like it. I am going to sit here when a roast chicken is in the oven and ADORE the smell it makes as its' flesh and skin is cooking.

So please - as I accept your decision NOT to eat meat - please give me the same respect by getting off my back about my carnivorous consumption.

That's my 2 Cents Worth.

And please - respect it.

Shalom

Damien
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........New Poll Over On The Right Hand Side...........

............Thinking of adding a new feature................ "Hebrew Word of the Day"......... (and possibly Yiddish of the day)

Let me know what you think ...........

...................Some Responses To My Barebacking Post..........

......................as I said I would, I have posted below some responses to my post about my own position on barebacking.

I hope this continues to promote discussion as this seems to be something that is usually handled quite poorly in our community.

Thank you to those who have responded so far.

--------------------------------------------------------------

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

That's my opinion.

Never. Never, ever.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I don’t have HIV, but my husband does. He’s had it for about 20 years and got it the old fashioned way in an effort to commit slow-motion suicide due to survivor’s guilt. I know this because he told me so. He willfully exposed himself to the virus in order to get AIDS and die. I interfered with his plan when we met a few years later and fell in love.

As a poz/neg couple, we have been very careful over the years. I am exclusively on top and we’ve never made love without a condom. HIV is like the third member of our relationship. It’s like a silent partner whom we try to ignore, but we are aware it’s always there ready to speak up the second we don’t give it the respect it commands.

As far as barebacking goes, I have been scared of HIV since I was a teenager and HIV/AIDS was first identified. As the result of the strong HIV education programs back in the 80s, I have in fact never had anal sex with anyone without a condom. I don’t know another soul in my position. I guess I’m an oddity. As such, I cannot really comment on barebacking since I have never done it.

But what I would like to add to this barebacking discussion is that I’d like to try it, just once, to know what it feels like. I want to know why so many guys insist on and even demand skin on skin contact when fucking. My marriage notwithstanding, the only way I could ever experience this safely is to fuck someone who, like me, is absolutely HIV free, and there is no way I would trust anyone’s mere word on this. That means that if I truly wanted to experience barebacking, I’d have to be prepared to accept some level of risk and I just am not willing to do so.

I’d like to add something else in relation to your post. You, as well as so many others before you, state that barebacking is a personal choice. I do not agree with that. It’s only “personal” if no one else is involved. And when it comes to HIV/AIDS, everyone is involved, i.e. the taxpayers.

It’s not like a person who chooses to bareback and subsequently becomes infected then pays for his own long term health care. No one can afford that unless he’s a millionaire. The American taxpayers have spent well over a quarter million dollars on my husband’s HIV/AIDS health care over the last 20 years. It’s not just his HIV that costs so much. It’s the HIV-related kidney stones and subsequent complications (caused by Crixivan (indinavir sulfate)), the HIV-related diabetes, and the HIV-related neuropathy that adds to the bottom line.

The point is, when my husband made his “personal” choice to bareback and become infected, that choice not only affected him but also affected every American taxpayer. His choice was far from personal. The same is true for anyone today who decides to bareback. This idea that it is only the barebacking participants themselves who are at risk is just plain false.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, his decision 20 years ago also affects me and our relationship every single day. HIV is very much a part of my life even though I am negative. Barebacking is not a decision that lasts for a few minutes of fucking. It’s a decision that may last a lifetime and deeply affect the ones you love.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You are right - BB is a choice - sometimes you can become reckless - but BBing should only be with your partner and your partner alone.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

....................As you can see this issue provokes a broad range of responses...... and it highlights why we must continue to talk about this as the Virus is not going anywhere soon and unless this issue becomes one of daily discussion, we will never triumph over it.

I wish you all the best and I am thankful for having the caliber of readers that I do, and that you all enjoy 2 Cents Worth enough to contribute.

Brachah to you all.

Damien
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.............Barebacking............. I Got Asked For My 2 Cents Worth.............

..................*insert HUGE sigh here*..

Okay................ So one of you people that visit my site - bless you for your patronage btw - decided to ask for my own view on barebacking.

Here it is......... and bear with me..............................................

Before I give anything away here, it is important to point out that I come from a position of having worked in health promotion - most notably in sexual health and HIV. I have worked with sex workers, I have worked with positive people, and, I have cared for and lost friends of mine to AIDS.

This is a very difficult question to answer without sounding like I am advocating for one side or the other. And it is important for me to say that I do not HAVE a side where this issue is concerned.

Here is what I do think...............

I do not believe that anyone should do ANYTHING without having the facts. This is called informed decision making and relates to everything we do in life, not just putting our pee-pee up someone's butt.

You would not buy a house without seeing it first inside and out.

You would not buy a car without making sure that the breaks worked or not.

Nor would you enter into a relationship without someone without dating them first and getting to know them and their status.

As an HIV educator - I believe it is most important to act as a resource and not act as judge nor jury. As someone who knows the current status of HIV therapies, the complex issues of viral load potential, and the many circumstantial issues surrounding transmission, I get a shiver down my spine when someone asks me what I think of barebacking.

And here is why...................

The issue is personal choice and the ability for an individual - any individual - to make their own decisions...... be they bad or good.

Even as someone who spent many years in gay men's health - I am not perfect - I did bareback occasionally and I did contradict my own professional view. There were many mitigating factors, but at the end of the day, *I* made a decision not to use protection. Implicitly, I did this knowing everything I knew, and yet, I still barebacked.

BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER !! - I hear you say.

Of course I should have. But there have also been times when I have not observed the speed limit; times when I have drunk too much; and times when I have put myself in situations where my personal safety was at risk (try walking through Fortitude Valley in Brisbane at 3am - you literally take your life into your hands).

Unfortunately, I find I can not give a clear and concise answer to the question.

At the end of the day, if you wish to avoid HIV you MUST use a condom, water based lube and common sense. Otherwise, you run the risk of contracting the virus.

And some issues to consider are;

• There is no cure for HIV. If you get it, it will eventually progress into Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome and you will die from an opportunistic disease.
• Honesty means different things to different people. Whilst many people are completely honest about their sero status - positive or negative - there are those who are honest to the situation ie. you are implicitly giving them permission for them NOT to tell you. Yes, some people do think this way.
• If you bareback, top or bottom, the odds are that you will become infected - even if it takes 10 or 20 years............ it will happen. This is an epidemiological constant giving the mapping of the virus and the math associated with the recent increase in infections.
• The current batch of HIV meds are excellent - but they are not a miracle.
  
• Research is excellent and continues around the clock - but it is a slow, laborious process that takes decades.
• My opinion of whether barebacking is good or not should play ZERO part in your own decision making process. You would not walk off a cliff if I told you to, so don't say "Damien said it was okay for me to take three loads up my butt over the weekend".

I am more than happy to expand upon this if requested.... but I think this is a good start to this issue and would very much enjoy making this something that ALL my readers can contribute to.

Email your opinion / views / thoughts to damientimmscarr@bigpond.com and I will do a megapost putting everyone's views out there (no names - I respect everyones confidentiality).

You asked the question and I answered.

This was my 2 Cents Worth and I just spent it.

Shalom

Damien
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....................I was ***NOT*** Expecting THAT ?!?!?!?!?!?................

...................well .................. that will teach me for trying to bring some community analysis to the blog.

My post on physical diversity in our community .................. sent someone into a repressive crying session.

Oh dear..............

Let me just say this - my post was NEVER meant to offend or hurt anyone. As someone living with Clinical Depression I would never intentionally do this.

However, this person's admission - and you are a very brave person for telling me btw - confirms that we truly can be a horrid lot.

Seriously - the emails of people telling their horror stories thanks to their GLBT cousins are simply horrendous.

Yes- people can be arseholes.... no argument there. But the premise of the post was a question about our community at large (not necessarily venues).

Even still, I am completely stunned......... some of these people are those I would say were several cuts above the standard in terms of physical beauty. So what sort of conclusion can we draw from this?

Simple - people at venues are cunts................. sorry Ladies for the use of the C word.

But did we not know this? Are we therefore saying that those at venues are a representative sample of our community?

Personally - I don't think so.... but it does go a long way to understanding our community advertising.

If we thusly target those "types" that go to venues on a regular basis, then our own advertisers are saying that it's the cunts that they want to attract.

Hmmmm........................ there is a logic hole there.

People who spend their recreational time on booze and drugs don't necessarily have a lot of spare cash to spend. Geeks, fatties, the ethnically diverse, and, nesting couples really have the purchase power in our community............... so again, why are they only targeting people with pecs and a nice pair of buns?

Simple............................ again................. people are shallow cunts.

My post was a promise to you ............... my readers who come to my blog............. that I would strive to be less vaccuous than the so-called average gay man.

Has this made any sense?

Hopefully it has.

Again, to the person whose experiences prompted the reaction of tears and dread.......... I truly hope you accept my apology .............. as unintentional as it was.

Shalom all.

Damien
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...................Shalom and L'Chaim To Our New Followers In The 2 Cents Worth Down Under Family...............

....................And it has been a while since we welcomed our new followers. So please, allow me to attend to that .......

.......Mauro from Reality Observer...........

.......MusicFascination.com..........

.......butportraiture.......... site is NSFW - but lots of fun ...........

.......Pamps............

.......MyAlexxx................

......The very handsome Greg York - visit him here............

......Schneiller from schnelliethefashionmonster...........

......skgks - interesting name .........

......Kevin aka Aesop Sioux ...........

......The very cute and witty Paul from Dangling Carrots......................... only questions I have is when we will see HIS dangling carrot .................. oh do the good times EVER stop at 2 Cents Worth.....

Shalom to all our new followers and welcome to our little part of the interweb and we hope you comment often and enjoy your time here.

L'Chaim!

Damien
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.................................... 100,000 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!............................

.....................OMG!

YOU FUCKERS ABSOLUTELY ROCK !!!!!

I never once thought when I started this little blog that it would get a hundred thousand readers and eighty-two loyal followers.

Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you.

Very grateful and very appreciative.

Keep coming back.

The blog will be back to normal this weekend with not ONE but three megaposts and a VLOG from the new location.

Again............................. my most heart felt appreciation.

Here is to the next 100,000!! :)

Shalom all

Damien
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................................Sporadic Blogging................................

...................Shabbat Shalom All.

As you all know I am moving to Oz on the 9th of November.

Blogging will be sporadic for a few weeks whilst I move and then get settled.

Thankfully, my Mum has found us a great apartment in a gorgeous complex in a great location in Brisbane - Yay for the Mummy :)

Until then, I appreciate your patience and your loyalty as always.

Shalom

Damien
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.........2 Cents Worth Readers.........Competition Time ! .......

.
.........okay so the first comp I held on here way back when I started didn't go so good.

But now that I have a pretty decent following - it's time to rumble !

IT'S READERS PICS TIME !

I want you to submit a pic of you. Nothing scary - but please give it some thought.

It could be on the London Eye - on top of the Sydney Opera House, the cafe section of your local bathhouse/sauna, shot from behind as you piss on a Californian Redwood. (I'm not talking nudes guys - preferably clothed and no frontals :))

Get innovative...... get it shot......... get it to me @ damientc@clear.net.nz and there will be a prize for the photo judged most 2 Cents Worthy .. AND ..... not only will you get a real prize - as in something worth more than 2 Cents - you will be profiled on the blog.

So get snapping and get emailing.

You have two weeks from today. Entries close 16th of October - winner is announced 17th October.

Entries will be posted as they come in.

C'mon guyz & gals - this is gonna be fun :)

Shalom

Damien
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.................... Shalom To Our Latest Followers ................ Welcome................

.
............we have a batch of new 2 Cents Worth followers here lately so let's make them welcome :)


.....SteveA from the Long Haired Boy.....

.....Alex from Mr Babel Hard Ass Can (18+ Adult Blog).....

.....deank from Tiarros blog .....

.....Allen from Allen's Blog.....

.....Jose from Llaves Rojas ......

.....Kyle from Out Left (18+).....

.....Ioannis from Kulturosupa .....Our first Greek follower ...

.....Mundoloco from Mundo Louco Para Todos .............

Welcome to 2 Cents Worth Down Under all of you :)

Shalom

Damien
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...................... My 2nd Home ( The USA ) Has Gone Nuts .....................

........on one hand you have a man who is trying to bring health care to those who most desperately need it.


.......on the other hand you have a man who forsakes all civility and congressional etiquette to yell at him during a Presidential address.


..........then you have those who defend the one who called the other one a liar by saying he is a Patriot.


..........I'm connecting the dots here and they don't line up.


...........Tell me again ..... American Conservatives ....... how calling your nation's leader a Liar is patriotic?


...........mind you - you are also the people who say that Jews run the world and Latino's are trying to supplant whites as the American Race.


.............the dots are connecting now.......................... and it is way ugly.............. I guess you really ... really .......... really............ don't like a black man telling your white ass what to do.


.......... how sad for you............................ and for your children......... to see their parents .......... who also happen to be leaders of communities............. as the mean spirited, ice hearted racists that you absolutely are.


............ My 2nd home has gone nuts...............


............. that's my 2 Cents Worth........... and I just spent it......... and it's twice what the average American Conservative is worth.
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.....I Get Around 400 Of You Visiting My Little Piece Of Blog-Heaven Every Day ........

.........and yet only 12 of you have clicked on the best male blog link to the right and voted.

At the end of the day I will do on my blog what I will - but I want to know what you think.

So clink on the link - or here - and let me know.

I really do care what you guys and gals think of my little blog :)

Shalom all.

Damien
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............ Saturday Vlog........................... Blog Review ...........

........................................ 60.000 .........................................

Our little blog achieve 60.000 hits last night.

Our very humble thanks to all of you who visit.

I hope you continue to visit and to find interesting things on here - including the occasional funny and a bit of man flesh.

Todah & Shalom

Damien
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................................ Recent Updates .....................................

Well - it has been a big week at 2 Cents.

We have ..................

.......... absolutely HUGE mutha-farkin Jellyfish :)

......... An homage of respect to those hot men on 2 Wheels

......... Our own little kudos to the 40th Anniversary of the Moon Landing - Get over it conspiracy theorists!!

......... Profile of the very intelligent porno-hound that is Jasun from Gay Daily Hot

.......... A shout out to my Nan's love of cats.

......... Mazel Tov to both Mr Padalecki and Mr Diesel ............ woof.

........ Some Dan Carter .................. coz I like him................ and he's hot.

........ Our thoughts on the how a time of terror has impacted on our Muslim brothers - accompanied by some beautiful Islamic art.

........ Our sadness at the Jakarta attacks.

........ Our other obsession ............. TWINS !

........ Our gasp at finally reaching the end of last week.

........ Profile of the incredibly talented and very engaging Steph & Alek from Oh La La Mag.

........ and last but not least by ANY means............ Ryan Reynolds............ coz he's the new Green Lantern.............. and he's hot ................... and he's gonna be my boyfriend........ really.......... he said so :)

So get clicking bitches and enjoy :)

OH ! - and don't forget to surf over to my page at Best Male Blogs and give a vote for 2 Cents here.

Vote honestly - even if it is just one star. BUT VOTE!!! - please :)

Shalom to you all

Damien
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