Today on the blog we continue our exploration of the people behind the blogs.
Our latest profile is the Mutt behind The Mutton Chopped Mutant.
His blog is raw, reckless and real - and this kid brings some serious grey matter to his writing and is one of my must read dailies.
So enjoy and please welcome Kez to 2 Cents Worth.
(2CW) Hey Mutt - welcome to the blog mate !
Thanks for having me - it's quite a pleasure from where I stand.
(2CW) Your blogger profile reads "Half human, half something more sinister - trapped in the body of a boring middle-class white boy. I'm proud of nothing I've achieved so far but I've learnt to set my aspirations low". Do you want to expand on that for our readers?
Expand on that? Shit. First off I'll preface by saying that everything I jot down tends to be a bit long winded, and you want me to expand on that? Okay - here goes: A long time ago back when I played the dating game, guys would constantly tell me that I was 'different' 'fresh' or 'unusual' I developed a complex about it, but it turns out they were trying to be complimentary - I guess the idea of something more sinister springs from that, coupled with the fact that at the end of the day, I'm a bit of a filthy tramp.
As for the 'nothing achieved in life part', well I may have had the odd success here and there, but I always have been and always will be, middle of the road. There's no changing that so instead, I've just decided to whole-heartedly embrace it.
(2CW) How did "The Mutton-Chopped Mutant" get started and how serious is your obsession with my favourite Marvel comic character Wolverine?
The Mutton-Chopped Mutant started earlier this year as a nice way to deflect attention away from my previous blog, Interpret This, which is now dead and buried. Basically, as I sat at my PC trying to work out what the fuck I wanted to call myself I couldn't come up with anything that wasn't entirely derogatory until I hit on the Mutton-Chopped Mutant idea. The fact I'm a bit of a pop-culture reject means I had no idea there was a film being made at the time.
The Mutton-Chopped Mutant started earlier this year as a nice way to deflect attention away from my previous blog, Interpret This, which is now dead and buried. Basically, as I sat at my PC trying to work out what the fuck I wanted to call myself I couldn't come up with anything that wasn't entirely derogatory until I hit on the Mutton-Chopped Mutant idea. The fact I'm a bit of a pop-culture reject means I had no idea there was a film being made at the time.
I am a bit of a Wolverine fan, however I like the short, little, hard-core guy that Marvel used to portray before he took a liking to spandex and magically gained about two feet in height. I'm all kinds of retro like that. If you ever spied me in person it'd make more sense - the facial hair is my way of delving into the hyper-masculinity subculture that I'm such a fan of.
(2CW) Do you think Hugh brought it in the movies?
Nope. I gotta say, I'm not a fan of Hugh Jack-ass at all. Basically I think the man has a severe case of gay and the day he can stop bullshitting us all and admit to it is the day I'll admit that he may have a shred of credibility.
(2CW) Are you a comics groupie? If so DC or Marvel?
I love me a good comic book, but neither Marvel nor DC really twist my nipples... Ever heard of Class Comics? That shit is way more up my alley... Wanna be my friend forever? Buy me something from there!
(2CW) Tell us a little bit about the life of a Mutt in Melbourne Australia.
Sadly it's no different to life for a misfit anywhere else. I still get people trying to avoid me in public places, I can't seem to pick a fight for love nor money and I spend my evenings getting blown by random men who think they'll end up infused with some kind of super-powers. Okay that last part may not be true, but between two jobs you can bet your arse I'm going to make the most of any leisure time I get. Life is simply too short to let it pass me by and Melbourne has way too much going on to dwell on the sidelines.
(2CW) Now you have recently returned from BORT '09 - For those who haven't been to the blog give them the skinny on what this is.
The BORT concept started last year and stands for Balls Out Road Trip. I like to think of it as my contribution to Aussie tourism. I think we've got some amazing stuff to see here and I decided last year that I'd launch into an old fashioned road trip to see it all. Not all in one hit of course. Not long after that I decided my dead-shit boring photos were missing something, so I started dropping my knickers for the camera and realised people suddenly paid a whole lot more attention that way.
(2CW) Is BORT an annual thing? Do you always go solo? Is it a time just for you?
BORT is set to become an annual occurrence. The solo thing is more a result of everyone else I know turning their nose up at being stuck in a car with me for forty or more hours and I have to admit, by the end of it, even I start to get on my own nerves. I'll happily take anyone who's interested along for the ride but there's a few conditions they'll need to abide by, but if they can deal with the fact I'm an attention seeking fame-whore with a penchant for exhibitionism then I think we'd get along just dandy.
(2CW) There is a great picture of you standing on the balcony of your hotel room in nothing but a leather harness at what appears to be early morning. That's the sort of balls out thing I can respect. How many people saw you and what were the reactions?
Yes indeed there is. That was taken on the balcony of the Zorba Waterfront Motel (and I'm telling that because it's a terrible fucking name, not as a plug) at about 8:00 AM. Right beneath me there was a walkway along the water's edge, as you can imagine it's quite busy but I managed to pick a gap in traffic for the photos. I did get sprung by one old fella, he'd have been in his seventies and simply cried out a cheerful "Good morning!" waved, and kept on his way like he'd seen it all before. I get the feeling the old bastard was going blind. I hope he doesn't fall into the drink any time soon.
(2CW) There is a pic of the Big Merino on the journey - we have a lot of "Big ...." in Australia. Do you think we're just a nation of size queens? Or do we just do kitsch bigger and better than other countries :)
Look closely, you'll see the Big Merino and I have the same amount of chins... fucking disturbing! For some reason every town in Australia feels the need to have something big. I was a huge fan of the piss-take promotion 7-eleven ran a few years ago with the big slurpee. I think it's rather over-done now: Big Banana, Big Prawn, Big Pineapple, Big Fucking Deal! It's a rampant need to compete with the bigger is better attitude contracted from the USA, that and the fact every single Aussie man is insecure about the size of his cock - it just manifests itself in our towns' monuments now!
(2CW) Aside from one fucking big sheep, what were some of the unexpected sights on BORT '09?
I'll often drive though a sleepy little country town and giggle and guffaw at some of the things I see, be it a 7' 4" guy squeezing into a Mini, some heifer in a purple spotted dress with lime-green gum boots or simply some of the shop window displays that the locals deem appropriate.
I stopped being surprised at things on the road a long time ago. Back when I was a kid there were greasy truck stop diners, hitchhikers and generally a decent amount of roadside peen to be seen. That's all gone now replaced by McDonalds, cheap air fares and plumbed sanitation. I think the only truly surprising moments were a massive freak-ass sculpture in Collector and a stunning gothic church in Bodalla.
(2CW) How different did you find small town Australia compared to Inner City Melbourne? How are the men in rural Oz? And more interestingly, how are the women?
I grew up in regional Australia, so I find I fit in there perfectly. There's a huge difference between the way country folk and city folk operate. For the most part, city men have their heads shoved up their own arses, they lack manners, grace or chivalry. A country lad may not have the same degree of finesse, but at the end of the day he'll be a lot more fun to hang around with, he'll love a drink or two and he'll know a shit-load more practical information too.
(2CW) Do you think Hugh brought it in the movies?
Nope. I gotta say, I'm not a fan of Hugh Jack-ass at all. Basically I think the man has a severe case of gay and the day he can stop bullshitting us all and admit to it is the day I'll admit that he may have a shred of credibility.
(2CW) Are you a comics groupie? If so DC or Marvel?
I love me a good comic book, but neither Marvel nor DC really twist my nipples... Ever heard of Class Comics? That shit is way more up my alley... Wanna be my friend forever? Buy me something from there!
(2CW) Tell us a little bit about the life of a Mutt in Melbourne Australia.
Sadly it's no different to life for a misfit anywhere else. I still get people trying to avoid me in public places, I can't seem to pick a fight for love nor money and I spend my evenings getting blown by random men who think they'll end up infused with some kind of super-powers. Okay that last part may not be true, but between two jobs you can bet your arse I'm going to make the most of any leisure time I get. Life is simply too short to let it pass me by and Melbourne has way too much going on to dwell on the sidelines.
(2CW) Now you have recently returned from BORT '09 - For those who haven't been to the blog give them the skinny on what this is.
The BORT concept started last year and stands for Balls Out Road Trip. I like to think of it as my contribution to Aussie tourism. I think we've got some amazing stuff to see here and I decided last year that I'd launch into an old fashioned road trip to see it all. Not all in one hit of course. Not long after that I decided my dead-shit boring photos were missing something, so I started dropping my knickers for the camera and realised people suddenly paid a whole lot more attention that way.
(2CW) Is BORT an annual thing? Do you always go solo? Is it a time just for you?
BORT is set to become an annual occurrence. The solo thing is more a result of everyone else I know turning their nose up at being stuck in a car with me for forty or more hours and I have to admit, by the end of it, even I start to get on my own nerves. I'll happily take anyone who's interested along for the ride but there's a few conditions they'll need to abide by, but if they can deal with the fact I'm an attention seeking fame-whore with a penchant for exhibitionism then I think we'd get along just dandy.
(2CW) There is a great picture of you standing on the balcony of your hotel room in nothing but a leather harness at what appears to be early morning. That's the sort of balls out thing I can respect. How many people saw you and what were the reactions?
Yes indeed there is. That was taken on the balcony of the Zorba Waterfront Motel (and I'm telling that because it's a terrible fucking name, not as a plug) at about 8:00 AM. Right beneath me there was a walkway along the water's edge, as you can imagine it's quite busy but I managed to pick a gap in traffic for the photos. I did get sprung by one old fella, he'd have been in his seventies and simply cried out a cheerful "Good morning!" waved, and kept on his way like he'd seen it all before. I get the feeling the old bastard was going blind. I hope he doesn't fall into the drink any time soon.
(2CW) There is a pic of the Big Merino on the journey - we have a lot of "Big ...." in Australia. Do you think we're just a nation of size queens? Or do we just do kitsch bigger and better than other countries :)
Look closely, you'll see the Big Merino and I have the same amount of chins... fucking disturbing! For some reason every town in Australia feels the need to have something big. I was a huge fan of the piss-take promotion 7-eleven ran a few years ago with the big slurpee. I think it's rather over-done now: Big Banana, Big Prawn, Big Pineapple, Big Fucking Deal! It's a rampant need to compete with the bigger is better attitude contracted from the USA, that and the fact every single Aussie man is insecure about the size of his cock - it just manifests itself in our towns' monuments now!
(2CW) Aside from one fucking big sheep, what were some of the unexpected sights on BORT '09?
I'll often drive though a sleepy little country town and giggle and guffaw at some of the things I see, be it a 7' 4" guy squeezing into a Mini, some heifer in a purple spotted dress with lime-green gum boots or simply some of the shop window displays that the locals deem appropriate.
I stopped being surprised at things on the road a long time ago. Back when I was a kid there were greasy truck stop diners, hitchhikers and generally a decent amount of roadside peen to be seen. That's all gone now replaced by McDonalds, cheap air fares and plumbed sanitation. I think the only truly surprising moments were a massive freak-ass sculpture in Collector and a stunning gothic church in Bodalla.
(2CW) How different did you find small town Australia compared to Inner City Melbourne? How are the men in rural Oz? And more interestingly, how are the women?
I grew up in regional Australia, so I find I fit in there perfectly. There's a huge difference between the way country folk and city folk operate. For the most part, city men have their heads shoved up their own arses, they lack manners, grace or chivalry. A country lad may not have the same degree of finesse, but at the end of the day he'll be a lot more fun to hang around with, he'll love a drink or two and he'll know a shit-load more practical information too.
Country boys also seem to get around with whopping great erections that they just need to put somewhere... Any good traveller will happily oblige (or so I'm told).
Women are much the same. For starters they know how things work instead of scratching their heads and giving up immediately a country lass will roll up her sleeves and get dirty if the job requires it. I have a huge degree of respect for the kind of people who help to keep this country grounded and contribute to its unique identity.
(2CW) I am always surprised at how many people seem to be living with serious depression these days. How long have you been living with yours and how do you manage it?
I guess it's a little hard to work out where it started as it gradually crept up on me. By the time I hit the point where my depression and anxiety had me literally ripping my hair out, scratching holes in my arms, chest and legs and finally when the Husbear noticed that I'd been slicing myself open with a razor blade, then it was a little hard to ignore. I've been seeing a psychologist since early this year. She's of the opinion medication isn't the best option for me right now and she may be right - just having the option of an outsider to talk to can be enough to change everything.
(2CW) Does your "D" impact your life heavily?
It used to. There was a period of time where I almost lost the lot to it. I couldn't motivate myself to do anything, I was short-tempered, rude and selfish and basically I felt like no matter what I did it was wrong and worthless. I've got that under control now and I've taught myself to look at things from another perspective to see if I can't find some good in the situations that try to keep me down. Usually I can, which means life returns to normal for me much quicker now.
(2CW) Do you think that we take the big D seriously in the gay community or is there still a "get over it love" mentality?
I think the gay community has a much better handle on it then heterosexuals, particularly straight guys. That said, it still tends to be stigmatised as a bit of a 'drama queen' thing to admit to, which is utterly ridiculous.
(2CW) Do you find your writing on the blog to be an outlet? (BTW You write exceptionally well. You should really look into this as a job).
I started blogging simply as a way of making sure I kept writing. To this day there's not a lot in there that I think would appeal to anyone else - but it appears a few people like what I have to offer. My blog is kind of like my confessional at times. It cops all the crap that no one else would have the patience to endure - readers can then make up their own mind if they want to dabble in my insecurities or now.
(2CW) I am always surprised at how many people seem to be living with serious depression these days. How long have you been living with yours and how do you manage it?
I guess it's a little hard to work out where it started as it gradually crept up on me. By the time I hit the point where my depression and anxiety had me literally ripping my hair out, scratching holes in my arms, chest and legs and finally when the Husbear noticed that I'd been slicing myself open with a razor blade, then it was a little hard to ignore. I've been seeing a psychologist since early this year. She's of the opinion medication isn't the best option for me right now and she may be right - just having the option of an outsider to talk to can be enough to change everything.
(2CW) Does your "D" impact your life heavily?
It used to. There was a period of time where I almost lost the lot to it. I couldn't motivate myself to do anything, I was short-tempered, rude and selfish and basically I felt like no matter what I did it was wrong and worthless. I've got that under control now and I've taught myself to look at things from another perspective to see if I can't find some good in the situations that try to keep me down. Usually I can, which means life returns to normal for me much quicker now.
(2CW) Do you think that we take the big D seriously in the gay community or is there still a "get over it love" mentality?
I think the gay community has a much better handle on it then heterosexuals, particularly straight guys. That said, it still tends to be stigmatised as a bit of a 'drama queen' thing to admit to, which is utterly ridiculous.
(2CW) Do you find your writing on the blog to be an outlet? (BTW You write exceptionally well. You should really look into this as a job).
I started blogging simply as a way of making sure I kept writing. To this day there's not a lot in there that I think would appeal to anyone else - but it appears a few people like what I have to offer. My blog is kind of like my confessional at times. It cops all the crap that no one else would have the patience to endure - readers can then make up their own mind if they want to dabble in my insecurities or now.
As for a job as a writer, well I may already have one. I freelance for an Aussie automotive website whenever I can. It's a passion of mine but certainly seems to have limited appeal within the gay community!
(2CW) Tell us about the Green Hoodie.
J.D. Hoodie is a bit of a joint collaboration between myself and FreddyEyes over at Bedrock Babble <http://bedrockbabble.blogspot.com> Freddy passed J.D, around amongst his mates at a gay bar in Denver, took photos and posted them on his blog. I immediately suggested he strike up a 'Sisterhood of the traveling Hoodie' and send it around the globe and before too long J.D. Hoodie was knocking on my door, looking for a place to stay. He's currently on his way to the USA again now and you can follow his adventures on facebook. <http://www.facebook.com/JD.Hoodie>
(2CW) Now for the 2 Cents Quickies ......
Favourite Drink ...........
Bundaberg Rum, every time.
Favourite Breakfast Dish........
Eggs benedict served on a toasted croissant - it's a heart attack on a plate the the best way to start the day!
If you were a Hankie Colour it would be ...........
That whole thing is just too confusing with the the colours and the codes... I'd just wear a slogan T-shirt that says 'filthy slut gagging for cock' and be done with it.
Red or White Wine ..........
Didn't I already say rum? But white if I need to appear classy. Reds just don't turn me on.
Mayo or Mustard ..................
Wait, I have to choose? I'm a fussy little munchkin so I won't be touching either if it's a cheap, crappy version.
Favourite Television Show .................
The last time I actually watched TV was probably back at the start of the year and I'm sure that would've ended with me throwing the remote at the telly in sheer frustration, so nothing currently. The pop culture rejection is a big deal with me but I'm fond of the classics: I Dream of Genie, Get Smart, Bewitched et al. Call me a mysoginist if you will, but they're probably the last decent thing to show up on TV
Favourite all time Movie
Labyrinth - I can almost recite it line for line, although it's been a few months since I watched it - Basically I just want David Bowie's hair
Take on Reality TV..................
If it's innovative like the first years of Survivor and Big Brother, then I have no issue - however everything is a reality show now, and to be honest I couldn't give a fuck about the worlds strictest parents, brattiest kid, or laziest thyroid. Enough already.
Classical or Modern and Why..........
I'll take a heady mix of both.
Recent Film you saw and what you thought of it...........
Again, the pop culture rejection thing kicks in here, so the last film I saw would be Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen. I though it was the biggest steaming turn of a movie I'd seen in a long time, but with all the shiny GM concept cars on show I learnt to forgive it very quickly. Someone needs to give Michael Bay a good thump in the throat though.
Favourite Sunday Morning Activity.............
It's filthy, it's horny, it's dirty and because my housemate is usually at work it can get quite vocal. Where possible I'll try to involve the Husbear too.
If someone wants to impress you when you are out they should .........
(2CW) Tell us about the Green Hoodie.
J.D. Hoodie is a bit of a joint collaboration between myself and FreddyEyes over at Bedrock Babble <http://bedrockbabble.blogspot.com> Freddy passed J.D, around amongst his mates at a gay bar in Denver, took photos and posted them on his blog. I immediately suggested he strike up a 'Sisterhood of the traveling Hoodie' and send it around the globe and before too long J.D. Hoodie was knocking on my door, looking for a place to stay. He's currently on his way to the USA again now and you can follow his adventures on facebook. <http://www.facebook.com/JD.Hoodie>
(2CW) Now for the 2 Cents Quickies ......
Favourite Drink ...........
Bundaberg Rum, every time.
Favourite Breakfast Dish........
Eggs benedict served on a toasted croissant - it's a heart attack on a plate the the best way to start the day!
If you were a Hankie Colour it would be ...........
That whole thing is just too confusing with the the colours and the codes... I'd just wear a slogan T-shirt that says 'filthy slut gagging for cock' and be done with it.
Red or White Wine ..........
Didn't I already say rum? But white if I need to appear classy. Reds just don't turn me on.
Mayo or Mustard ..................
Wait, I have to choose? I'm a fussy little munchkin so I won't be touching either if it's a cheap, crappy version.
Favourite Television Show .................
The last time I actually watched TV was probably back at the start of the year and I'm sure that would've ended with me throwing the remote at the telly in sheer frustration, so nothing currently. The pop culture rejection is a big deal with me but I'm fond of the classics: I Dream of Genie, Get Smart, Bewitched et al. Call me a mysoginist if you will, but they're probably the last decent thing to show up on TV
Favourite all time Movie
Labyrinth - I can almost recite it line for line, although it's been a few months since I watched it - Basically I just want David Bowie's hair
Take on Reality TV..................
If it's innovative like the first years of Survivor and Big Brother, then I have no issue - however everything is a reality show now, and to be honest I couldn't give a fuck about the worlds strictest parents, brattiest kid, or laziest thyroid. Enough already.
Classical or Modern and Why..........
I'll take a heady mix of both.
Recent Film you saw and what you thought of it...........
Again, the pop culture rejection thing kicks in here, so the last film I saw would be Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen. I though it was the biggest steaming turn of a movie I'd seen in a long time, but with all the shiny GM concept cars on show I learnt to forgive it very quickly. Someone needs to give Michael Bay a good thump in the throat though.
Favourite Sunday Morning Activity.............
It's filthy, it's horny, it's dirty and because my housemate is usually at work it can get quite vocal. Where possible I'll try to involve the Husbear too.
If someone wants to impress you when you are out they should .........
Never hesitate - I find confidence the most impressive thing ever. I promise not to back down if you don't.
That or show me your tackle - if you're a filthy mongerel then I'm pretty much guaranteed to like you.
(2CW) So what's next for you and your blog mister?
Well, now that I've armed myself with a decent camera there's probably going to be a whole lot more of my ugly mug springing up on there. Besides that I'll be sure to bring you every sordid detail about my rampant social dis-functionality and I may even throw in the odd glimpse at my catastrophic sex life.
(2CW) Thanks for being here mate and we look forward to getting you back for a Part 2. Cheers Mutt :)
It's been an absolute pleasure, thank you for having me. Of course I'll be more than then happy to put my balls on the line for part two!
.
(2CW) So what's next for you and your blog mister?
Well, now that I've armed myself with a decent camera there's probably going to be a whole lot more of my ugly mug springing up on there. Besides that I'll be sure to bring you every sordid detail about my rampant social dis-functionality and I may even throw in the odd glimpse at my catastrophic sex life.
(2CW) Thanks for being here mate and we look forward to getting you back for a Part 2. Cheers Mutt :)
It's been an absolute pleasure, thank you for having me. Of course I'll be more than then happy to put my balls on the line for part two!
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