Sunday 8 February 2015

People Can Be Horrible....

...a bit of background about Bubb.

Bubb is my partner.  We have been together 12 1/2 years.  He is a man who would do anything for those he cares about and - in some cases - complete strangers who just need someone to step up.

For the last 18months Bubb has been living with increasing chronic neuropathic pain.  This has exacerbated his pre-existing depression and, to put it midly, he is suffering terribly.  Bubb is a big man, and we are considering gastric surgery for him.

Last Monday he had to go to the bank and do a basic transaction.  As he came out, he had a dizzy moment and fell.  As he fell he scratched the right side of his foot / leg / knee / thigh and elbow.  His hip (today) has a bruise the size of both of my hands.  He was bleeding, and the fall exacerbated his current pain.  5 people were in the immediate area.  All 5 laughed but not one offered to help him.  He tried to pull himself up using a pole next  to him.  He doesn't have the upper body strength anymore.  Sadly he lost his grip and fell back again onto his tailbone.  Again, no one helped him.  He sat still for a moment.  He ended up rolling to his knees and was able to slowly push himself up.  And it hurt him to do so.  Still, no one did anything.

He came home hurt, bloody and feeling humiliated. 

He hasn't left the house in a week.  For 2 days he cried on and off.

*This* is the consequence of our inaction.

*This* is what can send someone to the edge of a bridge and have them jump.

*This* is the reason that the partners of people like Bubb control the medicine cabinet.

*This* is the consequence of our inaction.

Bubb is feeling better today.  Somewhat.  But it took a WEEK.

How would YOU answer the person who is the other part of your heart when they ask "Why didn't they help?"

My only response was "If I was there I would have picked you up."

It's not a good enough response.  You know why?.......... coz there were 5 other people on that day who did not pick him up.  Or even offer. 

And their inaction could have resulted in an action from which there would be no reversal.

We must be better.




Scotty said...

I'm so sorry he had to go through this and that no one was there for him. Very sad in this day and age people have so little consideration for others. Rest assured, if I had been there, he would have had the help he needed. Give him a huge hug from me!

Damien said...

Thank you Scott.
I was horrified when he told me.

Mark in DE said...

Very poignant. It is terrible that no one offered Bubb assistance. That is just common decency. I hope he is feeling better, physically and mentally.

btom89 said...

It might have been the bystander effect---sometimes any one other person will assume any one of the others will jump into action and help out.

I still don't understand why they all laughed. Someone falling for any reason is not really funny at all. Maybe if the fall was sudden and unexpected (in the bystanders' perspective), it can provoke that reaction unconsciously?

Still, I'm sorry to hear what happened. I know if I was there, I'd have helped out.

a{GAY}tekeeper{iam} said...

so sad to read about stuff like this happening

Anonymous said...

Never underestimate man's inhumanity to man. I am so ashamed and appalled by this, please extend my sympathy to Bubb and tell him that were not all monsters. Hope you're both feeling better.

Damien said...

Thanks all. Bubb is feeling better. It shouldn't have happened in the first place. But we all know that.