My 2CW ... The Mess of NEW Wonder Woman ...

So I saw THIS image at my fellow blogger Viktor's blog HERE ........

So here is my 2 Cents Worth on the above promotional image.

I love Mr Cavill as Superman.  And I like the costume.

I am actually liking the gritty look of Affleck's Batman.  I think this is an interesting reimagining.

But NOTHING is right with Gadot's Wonder Woman.  And here is the thing.....

It's not her fault.  Though I would have hoped that maybe she could have objected like some actors would...

• It's the costume. 
• It's the lack of personal training that she should have been ordered by the producer to do just like the men would have to have done for their parts.  Men have to look the part.  So should the women if it's a bloody super hero called WONDER WOMAN!!!!!  The second most powerful hero in the DC universe. NOT SO WONDERFUL!
• And finally ........ It's the porn-pout and the bust-thrust that seals the mess. 
• And it's not even a hot mess. 
• It isn't even good enough to be a dirty mess. 
• It's just a mess.
• And that Tiara .......... it look likes a Power Ranger lost their hair band.....

It's dreadful.  Just dreadful.

I think I need a cup of tea and a good lay down now.

D
xox

 

My 2 Cents Worth....Porn Is Not Evil ......

We do a lot of shaming in this community;

• Fat-shaming
• Slut-shaming
• Truvada-shaming
• Race-shaming
• Trans-shaming
• Age-shaming

Let's talk Porn shaming. 

Really Rose?!  Really?????

OK, so we're all grown ups here so here is how it goes.......

Stop it.  Just stop it.

I am not going to even go into the BILLIONS of dollars a year spent on the consumption of porn.
I am not going to even go into the THOUSANDS of blogs dedicated to porn; porn performers, and/or nudes.
I am not going to even go into the HUNDREDS of professional adult actors who routinely turn up for work and do the job that allows us to spank our monkeys on a regular basis.

And here is what we really are not going to do.

We are not going to shame people who do porn.
We are not going to shame people for the type of porn they do.
We are not going to shame the use of the word porn and instead use the pasteurised version "adult entertainment".  We can use either, or both.  Neither is a "dirty word".

We are not going to shame people who like or do porn.

Porn - made with consenting adults - is an industry that is not "dirty".
Porn is an industry that supplies jobs.  Many jobs.
Porn is an industry that values safety.  In spite of the small number of high profile HIV infections, the Porn/Adult Industry has a better safety record than Construction, Nursing, Public Transportation and even Teaching.  It makes news because it is fundamentally about sex.  And sex sells.

Porn is porn.  It is an Industry.  It is the Supply that meets Demand.  It is a culture in and of itself that sits within our own culture.

Porn - and those who do it and/or watch it - are not evil.

Stop demonising those in it, and those who like it.

We can and must do better as a community.

And that's my 2 Cents Worth.

Shalom

D
xox

Racialising / De-Racialising Fictional Characters.....My 2 Cents Worth...

With the Black Johnny Storm issue to the recent casting of a whitey in a native american role here's my 2 cents worth on this whole bucket of BS.....


White Character = White Actor

Black Character = Black Actor

Asian Character = Asian Actor (And make it the appropriate asian - Rather than just a korean subbing as everything)

Latino Character = Latino Actor


Etc
Etc
Etc


OH - and if you subscribe to the whole cult of "Well we remade The Wiz coz we didn't have any stories of our own" then I say bullshit on you.

The stories - the history - the poetry of EVERY culture is there.  People are just being lazy and talentless.

People need to pull their finger out of their arse and come out with some real stuff rather than just going for the controversy factor.

Hollywood really is stoopid these days......

And we let them get away with it.


D
xox

Haters Will Hate ... My 2 Cents Worth...

So in response to my recent post in jest re Wonder Woman / Lynda Carter, I received the following two comments from an "Anonymous" visitor to the blog.  How unusual for a hater to hate under the Nome de Plume of Anonymous :-)

Anonymous said...

If we all like the same things and thought the same way,what a sad place this would be. So, keep your blog!

Sun Jul 28, 08:03:00 AM

To which I so rightly said "BYE!"

To which I received this reply.....

Anonymous said...

You are such a sad person. I felt compassion for you but now I realize you just want pity and every one to feel sorry for you. Bye Bye

Mon Jul 29, 08:51:00 AM

Now this person is CLEARLY not a regular to the blog because if you know anything about this blog and its author - c'est moi - you know that when it comes to topics like that I am all piss and wind trying to have a laugh.  Only when discussing the serious topics do I put my rather unique sense of humour to one side.

BTW - if you are going to come to my blog to hate on me PLEASE have the common decency to have the balls to be YOU and not hide your bitter, jaded, tiny minded self behind "anonymous".

Shmuck

My 2 Cents On Gay........

There is a quote from Shakespeare...........

What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how
infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and
admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like
a god!

Now substitute the word MAN for GAY..... and re read it.

I'm not poking fun or making a jaded, bitter comment here.  I truly believe it.  What a piece of work is GAY MAN.....  After all........ look at all the different types we come in......

• Bears
• LeatherMen
• Muscle Mary's
• Twinks
• Gaysians
• Draq Queens
• Sirs
• boys
• Bois
• Cubs
• Otters
• A-Gays
• Preps
• Daddies
• Silver Foxes
• Alt / Queer
• Chubs
• Chasers
• Misters
• Hunters

The list is almost endless..........

What a patchwork rainbow we truly are.  Such a spectacle of diversity - all united in the love and attraction we have for our fellow male.

 In the early years of the Gay Movement this diversity - that is, a collection of differences - was a foundation of truly awesome social change and progression, and is STILL the foundation of our desire for Equity today.

However, in recent years we have seen a disturbing trend of hate WITHIN the Gay Community.  What was once a source of celebration and unification is now a means of division. The colours of our diverse rainbow become demarcation lines of social and sexual cliques that have grown into - at times - a hatred from within that can eclipse the hatred from without.

The three most obvious examples of this can be seen on our online searches for others.

Neg Only

No Fats

No Femmes

There are more of course..... but these are three of the most common.

In the mid 1990's when I worked in sexual health, there was an HIV awareness campaign here in Australia that I vehemently objected to.  It was two posters with a single banner headline at the top "Are you Positive Towards Negatives?" or "Are you Negative Towards Positives?" I was part of a focus group of gay men at a national HIV/AIDS conference in Sydney that tested this campaign.

Many of us - negative and positive alike - disliked the idea of such an obvious use of sero-status as a TITLE.  Many of us believed that this use of - and thus approval of - such identifiers would ultimately prove counter productive.  And we were right.  In the late 90's early 00's there was a move towards status based social matrixes.  Poz men would reject Neg men as friends/social acquaintances and vice versa.

At this same time the unifying umbrella term of "Gay Community" was being vehemently rejected by Lesbians.  Thus we became the Gay & Lesbian Community.  Followed - more gently - as the Lesbian & Gay community.  Then the LGBT - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community.  And now - we have the LGBTQI - the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and, Intersex community.

A very wise individual I know who has worked in gay mens health for decades scratches his head when we discuss this.  His idea is that we are so focussed on the patches - that we have forgotten the WORK.  We have lost the TWINE that bound the patches, into a Patchwork Quilt.

What happened?

We are so vibrant.  So diverse.  So uniquely flavoured.  And yet, these positives are most often used now as negatives that divide us and - at the personal level - exclude us from the one thing that all these different men seek..................... another.

We are - in truth - the manufacturers of our own loneliness.

I have many friends - who they themselves have many friends and even more social acquaintances - all single.  All alone.  And most - lonely.

Why?  No poz.  No neg.  No fat.  No old.  No young.  No (insert particular ethnicity here including white).  No people of Faith.  No clubbers.  No nesters.  No tops.  No bottoms.  No..... No..... No.....

I  am reminded of and will leave you with the following that is the mirror of the above.

No Same Sex Marriage.

No Adoption Rights.

No Same Sex Immigration.

No Same Sex Partner Benefits.

No Gay Anti-Discrimination Clauses.

No Gay Military Members.

No ........... No......... No........

Shabbat Shalom and blessings on you all.

Damien
xox

I Have No Gay Pride.....

For me there is no gay community.....

For me there is no gay common unity.........

For me gays are just as divided and vicious as the community at large......

Actually.......... they are MORE vicious....... I have the scars................

The community at large has one thing we don't..................................

Common Hatred of Gays................

Because of this........ we will lose........ always.........

We have lost the cohesiveness that HIV brought us in the 80's & 90's........

How sad it took a virus to bring ALL of us together......

This is not sarcasm.........

This is reality............

Disagree if you wish - but do so quantitatively please..........

Anecdotes do not count..............

Shalom

Damien
xox

....2 Bare..........Porn Actor aka Barebacking Hypocrite...........

.........Please read the below interview of Marc Dylan aka Chris Gabriel............

Newcomer Marc Dylan Talks Bareback, Condoms

August 25, 2011 | 57 Comments

***interview reprinted from Gay Porn Times - interview by JC Adams***

I had a chat this afternoon with Marc Dylan, a muscular newcomer with sexpics under his belt for Jet Set Men (the forthcoming ripped-from-the-headlines parody ANTHONY’S WEENER), Falcon Studios, Lucas Entertainment and Titan Media. He’s embarrassed about the VOD release of a condomless blue movie for SX Video titled BAREBACK ME, PLEASE that features him smack-dab on the cover (he is billed as Chris Gabriel). Mr. Dylan, 27, filmed two bareback blue movies—the other was for Treasure Island Media—before deciding that he’d rather shoot condoms-only. But with the release of the SX Video film, he’s concerned future directors, costars and others in the biz might have the wrong idea about him.

Mr. Dylan is repped by Howard Andrew and FabScout Entertainment.

JCA: What’s the timeline here? When did you film for SX Video and Treasure Island?
MARC DYLAN: I talked to them in early June. I had emailed a lot of companies and they responded first and offered to film with me. I was just really excited to get to try to doing porn, so I said yes. They shot with me in early July.

JCA: What was that experience like for you?
DYLAN: After my second shoot, I just really felt uncomfortable with the barebacking even though they pair negative guys together [after testing], so I declined shooting with them anymore, even though they made me a really good offer. Shooting with them was an interesting experience for my first time ever doing porn. They were nice and friendly people, but I just decided it wasn’t for me. About the same time, I started getting some interest from other companies that shoot with condoms, so I jumped on the chance to work with them. I really enjoyed the experience of doing porn, except for the barebacking, so I thought it was good timing.

JCA: What was it about shooting without condoms that made you uncomfortable? Can you talk about that?
DYLAN: In the beginning of August, one of my best friends found out that he was HIV-positive. He had been dating and got it from a boyfriend who was not faithful. Before that, I was just kind of embarrassed that I did the bareback porn since I’m pretty safe in my personal life. My friend’s whole life is changed now and I felt more guilty than embarrassed about the barebacking. He got something without knowingly putting himself at risk since he was in a relationship, and I knowingly put myself at risk just because I was too excited to try porn to wait.

JCA: Why did you want to speak up about it publicly?
DYLAN: People are always entitled to make their own decisions about bareback sex and everything else, but I don’t want to be seen as someone who thinks bareback sex is a great choice or something I do regularly. I got into porn because it’s something I have always wanted to try, I like sex and always have been a little bit of an exhibitionist. But I also thought it would be cool to see some new places and meet new people, and I was curious about what the people who do it are like, and how porn was made, since I watch so much of it.

JCA: Do you regret getting involved in the industry?
DYLAN: I’m really glad to be doing it because I’ve seen some really cool things, had fun, met some really nice people. A few are becoming good friends that I talk to almost every day or two. I just wish how I started was a little different.

JCA: Well, don’t beat yourself up too much about it. You tried something, you decided it wasn’t right for you.
DYLAN: I just wanna make sure people know that since I have done my first [condoms] video, I have not done a bareback video.

JCA: Anything else you want us to know about you?
DYLAN: Well, I live in Mississippi. I was born just outside of New York but I have lived here since I was 10. Other than doing porn, I live a pretty boring, normal life.

...............Now - here's my thing.........Personally - I neither approve nor disapprove of barebacking here on the blog (if you want my personal views - profile me) ......... I try to present it as objectively as possible....... but when I read an interview like this, it really makes my stomach churn and here is why.......

HE'S A LYING DOUCHE !!!

See - "pretty boy" up above got caught up on FILM what he does in his PERSONAL life. I do not believe for a second his whole "Friend caught HIV and it made me rethink" schtick.... and this quote is why....

"I was just kind of embarrassed that I did the bareback porn since I’m pretty safe in my personal life."

"Pretty safe"? - so what does that mean? He only barebacked as a top? He only bottomed bareback for people he knew and trusted? He spat not swallowed? He always peed after sex coz that's what the literature says to do? ........WTF???

..........The thing that happened - and as someone who used to work as a Gay Men's Health Educator in the 90''s - People involved in condom porn saw him, liked his look, met with him and then shamed him for what he did......... a tactic often used in the early days of HIV education. "If you shame them - they will stop - and then they will only fuck safe" - a line I *actually* heard at an HIV conference..... the interview above his is 'public repentance' so that he can get that contract with Titan or Falcon that will pay the big bucks for a muscled buffoon like him.......

.......Now if pretty boy wants to be a cumdump in his personal life - that's his choice. Only the most ignorant of imbeciles these days are unaware of the risks of barebacking. BUT for him to do an interview like that sends the complete and utter wrong message....

.........and it hinges on his use of the word "guilty" ......... basically he was caught doing something that he thought his peers would be upset about. That isn't a proactive health choice - that's a knee-jerk reaction to having been caught with his un-rubbered cock in the cookie jar..... This interview sent so many mixed messages you have to wonder how many different people in the room were telling him how many different things.........

...........and guess what - I'll bet a month's wages that he is totally shoving his cock in butts and sitting down on them raw right now...........

.........Hypocrite...............

.....and no I don't think porn stars are role models ......... but if you're going to be in the gay media...... which anyone can access via the web...... say the truth....... we have enough people pointing fingers at what we say and do without moron's like this idiot sending out four, five, or ten different messages...........

...........and to let you know - I've seen both scenes - and the man weren't acting, he was having a truck load of fun ......... makes you wonder...........

....That's my 2 cents worth, and I just spent it.......

.....What's yours?........

Damien
.

....UPDATED ..........My 2 Cents Worth.......Women......So Sick Of Them...............

.................updates to the post and further information on rant below in BLUE..........


.......WOW - I've never had a response like that before to a post / rant......... you should have seen the variety of emails I got. So here is some further expansion on a fairly significant rant.

NOW - my regulars know that I am not shy to tell it like it is - and I actually don't often go all out like I did below. But here is why I did the intellectual version of vomiting all over Little Bo Peep & Her Sheep.

WOMEN......................... AREN'T.................LIKE..................... THIS..........................

That's why. So let's further explore this by looking at my Rant that will defiantly remain in red.


......................... Women........... We Get It............... You're Powerful....................... Confident ................ Goddesses.......... now SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY !!!

.....Seriously - I am tired of pro-women advertising and here is why. The women who produce this content are the very same women who would absolutely shit shrapnel if similar ads were broadcast but from a male point of view. It also portrays a reality of women that NONE of the women I know have experienced.

Oy vey!!!!

I am so sick of women!! From tampon and panty liner ads to SATC to those ads where the husband comes off as a complete buffoon whilst the wife stands there sighing with the utmost condescension.

...........Please explain to me why an ad that discusses a device that gets inserted into the vagina is something that is rated G? If I went on television to discuss Mr Dildo - not only would it never make it to air - if it did the ruckus would be HUGE!!

OH !!! HANG ON !!! - I hear you say. "You ram being Jewish down OUR throats!!" - There is a difference - you CHOOSE to come here and read my blog and I value your patronage and interest in a facet of my life that is extremely important to me. I asked 6 women in my office today if a tampon made them feel empowered - confident - or sexy - like the ads - and all 6 expressed the same disgust at the fact that those ads are on. There were heterosexual women - over 30 years old - white collar. NONE of them thought that these ads should be on.

I do not choose to view Tampon / Panty Liner ads - and I think that they ALONG WITH ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION ads should be banned - it's just not needed on TV. That's why we have doctors. Mothers have "the talk" with their girls. Guys who can't get it up go to their doctor - NONE of these things need to be on TV every hour on the hour.

And another thing .............. MEN ARE NOT THE REASON SO MANY OF YOU ARE FAT!!! THAT IS THE CAUSE OF THE WOMEN WHO OWN THE MAGAZINES YOU BUY YOU DUMB BITCHES !!! YOUR OWN KIND ARE KEEPING YOU DOWN TO MAKE UP FOR THEIR OWN BOUNTEOUS WAISTLINES !!!!!

..........This is a serious one for me. I get so angry when I see women on tv or the news or THE VIEW or such shows who say men are the reason they have eating disorders and yoyo dress sizes. Actually.......... it isn't. I have str8 male friends and not ONE of them likes a skinny bitch. And that is how THEY referred to them. They said "I like a woman who looks like a woman. Boobs and a bum. Curves." In fact - most of these advertisements in print media and TV/FILM are written and produced BY WOMEN. Please explain to me in this day and age how a MAN keeps a woman down - with the exception of radical religion. And then please explain to me why so many women implicitly allow other women to dictate how they should view themselves.

Seriously - If I hear one more blonde / redhead / brunette bimbo say "Well.... If men didn't place such pressure on women....."............ Blah fucking Blah.......... cry me a river.

You want life pressure??? Be a gay man/lesbian/trans in a world that screams at you "You're an abomination!!" - Be a Jew in a world that hates Israel - when being Jewish doesn't necessarily have ANYTHING to do with believing in Israel................ Be a moderate Muslim in a post 9/11 world................Be a young gay teen in a back ass country fuck town where the KKK still has Beer Busts on a Sunday afternoon.

............Gay men are killed every year for simply being gay. Yes, women are killed and raped and subjected to domestic violence - and it is NEVER alright for this to happen. That's why we have criminal codes in the western world that protect women. It has been only recently that we have had sexual orientation being included in criminal codes, and even then it is being SELECTIVELY implemented.

Yeah women have it SO bad. As I look around my office and see half the management positions filled BY WOMEN............. in a country where my state Premier is A WOMAN .............. where the deputy Prime Minister is A WOMAN...................... and you have it SO bad.

............The reality is, women do not have it so bad anymore. Yes their is still sexism. Yes there are still challenges - but for women to want to continue actively allowing OTHER women to portray them as a minority group that is sub-class is the real crime. It was Mandela who said "You are only a victim if you allow yourself to be". And that is just as true for the GLBT community as it is for women. I use the comparison of gay men simply as a reality check. There is a reality of being a woman and there is a reality of being gay.

Seriously............... and they say us gays are a whingeing lot................. must've been a woman who said it.

OH....................... and the women who are offended by this post?............... get your head out of your vagina and give it some serious thought. You'll be surprised.

................Is this a rude statement to make? - yup - will I apologise for it - NOPE - want to know why? - because a gay man told me to pull my head out of my arse when I complained one day about how hard it was being gay............... it was around the time of the ethnic cleansing in Bosnia. Kinda put things in perspective really.

When I was 12 my mother literally smacked me over the back of the head because I complained that I hated being poor coz other kids in my class had so much more than me. After doing that she pointed at the roof over our heads, the food in the fridge and smacked me over the head again.

Vaginas ........................ they are not an excuse anymore.

.............Gender is no longer an excuse. If you don't like my post - write to the advertising companies, the TV studios, your Congressman/woman. Write to your national leaders, and get them to further demand that gender stop being used by the few as a weapon and a source of self-imposed living martyrdom by others. Stop buying the products from companies that promote an unattainable and unhealthy image of women.

There are real people out their for whom life is GENUINELY a day by day walk along the razor's edge of living and dying.

In countries like America and Australia we are so quick to try to play the pity card and it is NOT appropriate. THAT is why I posted an inappropriate bitch-slap to women. If it is confronting for you - then ask why it is confronting for YOU - not that *I* confronted you with something that others have said before me.

That's my 2 Cents Worth - and I just spent it.

.......So why didn't I just write a simple gentle post like all this blue stuff .................. coz you probably wouldn't have read it with the same level of interest if I did. Some of you would have, but the majority wouldn't have. Why? Because we are simply too lazy. This is why women ARE portrayed often in the media as stick thin bimbo's with balloons for tits. Because not enough women ARE demanding change.

It's called activism for a reason - you have to act. And yes - it is as simple as writing a letter. I've written one to President Obama and one to my Prime Minister.

When did you last write to your leader?

I wish you all well.

Shalom

Damien
.

............My 2 Cents Worth............ Ups & Downs Of Life...........

......................whenever someone says to me "Life is a funny thing..." I want to take the nearest blunt instrument and cave in their skull.

Life is not funny.

It can have funny patches and it can have those moments of pure, genuine bliss that sweep you off your feet.

But then there are those times of confusion and fear that leave you reeling from one step to the next.

I know someone whose gait has been unsteady for a long time and I find all the little pricks and cuts of my everyday life paling beside his.

It is times like this I find my faith tested. Why is such a good person so unhappy, so scared and so miserable that death seems a valid alternative for consideration. (At least in their mind during their dark periods)

No this is not a post about myself wrapped as something else. This person is someone in my life and I worry about and for them all the time.

The worry is one of helplessness. There is nothing I can do for this person. And sadly, even the emptiness I feel when acknowledging that statement is minuscule compared to their pain.

I don't know what to do for this person. I don't know if anything can be done for this person.

I will continue to support this person and make certain that I can provide whatever it is this person needs.

It is a dreadful place this person is in.

This persons' life is far from funny.
.

....WTF............... Lesbians & Gay Men During The NON Event Times.........

......................what the fark is it with gay-men hating lesbians and lesbian-hating gay men?

Can anyone explain this???

We all seem to be SO chummy during events like Pride and Mardi Gras - but then at other times it's like a cold war with dark stares across the cafes.

I remember back being a student at university and attending a GLBT student conference. There were a group of Lesbians there all wearing blue berets. When I asked a lovely lesbian I knew what that meant she replied "No males - at any time." I kind of looked at quizzically and said "Well of course they wouldn't have a man - they're lesbians". To which she replied..... "No, no. They don't associate with, eat with, be friends with, or go to venues with men."

I found out later that this same group of lesbians were protesting the inclusion of Male to Female Transgenders who were to attend a Women's Conference. Apparently they were protesting the fact that they were not REAL women. At the time during my presentation to the conference I mentioned this point and asked the question "What is a natural woman?" And I offered the following possibilities..............

• A woman that is biodegradable?
• One that comes with a Heart Foundation Tick of approval?
• One that is organically certified?
• One that has a blue beret?
  

When I was working in sexual health, a person I knew working at the then Queensland AIDS Council was upset because the Council was considering a project that was going to be working with women - all women - who had HIV.

I looked at him with as much disdain as a then twinky ballet dancer gay volunteer could muster - and it was considerable - and said "Don't worry - their girl germs won't make you girl - they're too late." Then I walked off wondering who the hell this bloody queen thought he was.

Given the huge amount of discrimination and hate out there in the big, wide world. I am curious as to those whose feel it necessary to pile yet more discrimination WITHIN their own community. It really is a malady that is quite beyond my comprehension.

I'm not sure there is a point to this......... in fact this topic was prompted by the lovable Kez from Mutton Chopped Mutant as I was straining for a post topic.

So ......... these are my thoughts on the matter. What are yours?

That's my 2 Cents Worth - and I just spent it.

Shalom

Damien
.

..........My 2 Cents Worth....... Followers Who Are Actually Underage Sites.....

.....you are not welcome here.

If you are a follower on my blog and I find that you have blogs that focus on underage boys/teens either nude - or - clothed in provocative poses - and you know who you are bitches - you should know that I have now blocked you as a follower and reported you to Blogger.

If you try to rejoin under a new name - I will send your details to the FBI as you are all from the USA.

It's my blog and my rules you sick fukkers.

I hope we understand each other ....................... now FUCK OFF !!!!

Damien
.

...........How Is This Sexy ? .......................

.......... can someone please tell me how THAT is sexy. Im sorry - but shaved pubes look alien to me. Are any of you into this?

What a waste ! - Great pecs, great uncut cock........... but that pube-less region ?!?!?!

For me - if he had've had his bush present and lightly trimmed and tidy - THEN it would be hot - but this....... it looks really strange.

What are your 2 Cents Worth on this?

Shalom

Damien

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........My 2 Cents............. Treating Positive As Negative...........

.....................Are you negative towards positives?

This was the message of a gay community awareness campaign back in the mid-90's in Australia.

Australia has been a global leader in HIV education and research since 1982. Per capita, Australia has spent more on education, prevention and research than any other Western country.

The above campaign had a flip side - "R u positive towards negatives?"

The whole campaign focused on sero-discordant interactions. I.e. Positive men having sex / relationships with negatives and vice versa.

It was a campaign that was incredibly confronting for the time. Many people were annoyed by the fact that we were using yet ANOTHER measure of labelling in the gay community - and many saw it as being divisive i.e. yet another measure to DIFFERENTIATE people.

Others saw it as a necessary discussion that had to be engaged in.

Positive people are treated differently. A paper cut in the work-place for me is very different than for a positive person. I don't have to have the "Chat" with the first aid chief in the workplace like a positive person does.

But more personally, if a positive person meets a negative person and there are fireworks - how does the relationship progress?

For some of you - you are insulted by now - "How dare he treat this issue in such a moronic, outdated fashion?" - Well....... perhaps you haven't been paying attention to me over the last year, but I challenge EVERYTHING. And if that is an issue for you, please surf away now.

The issue of sero-discordance is one that is negotiated every day for those people who are engaging in safe sex. I have several people I know who are positive and for them - "going up for coffee" - after a date is a two-tier conversation. "Yes I would love to." "I am positive, is that an issue?"

For many negative men it is an issue. Not because these people are bad people, but simply because negative people have "avoided" the virus (as much as they can CONCIOUSLY know) but now the virus is front and center.

For many, it is the VISIBILITY or the virus becomes something that they can not ignore. NOT the person........ the virus. And it comes down to a simple statement "I have remained negative to this point - how do I remain negative from now on............."

Well - it is quite simple - continue your safe sex practices.

That is it.

HIV - whilst a very dangerous virus once it is inside the body - is in reality a difficult virus to catch. There are many circumstances that must be in place. And they are.............

• Infection route - There has to be easy access for the virus. That access is known as "Micro Trauma". This is the everyday microscopic cuts and abrasions that we all get. When you brush your teeth - micro-trauma on your gums and cheeks. Pooing - micro-trauma on your sphincter. Blowjobs - micro-trauma on your lips. Fucking - LOTS of micro-trauma on your sphincter and the anal walls.'
• Viral Load - There has to be enough viral load for your immune system to be overwhelmed. Yes, it sounds strange - but there is a LIMIT before you get infected. NO - doctors can not tell us what it is. It seems to be different for everyone. Another reason why HIV is confusing us.
• Sexual Practice. Kissing and blowjobs - perfectly safe. There has only been ONE documented case of infection via semen ingestion through the mouth - and that was because the person concerned was an idiot who went looking for cum only two days after a wisdom tooth was removed. Really - so stupid I do not know where to begin.
• Safe Sex - if you practice safe sex - condoms with water based lube - the chance of infection is so small - the mathematics involved contain so many zeros it will blow your mind.

But it isn't just about sex. It is also about perception.

HAVING a positive partner is easy - having other PEOPLE knowing you have a poz partner may not necessarily be as easy. Why? Because as I have stated many, many times before......... most people do not have three functioning neurons firing in the same direction.

Sad - but true.

We like to think that we are all accepting and understanding. The reality is though, that not all people are. For many, the stigma is far more of an issue than the risk of infection. I have known many sero-discordant couples and indeed, we are talking couples who have been together since the 80's. Their primary issue has ALWAYS been the perceptions of others.

These people have lost friends, family access, and, in some cases, their jobs. Thankfully, these days at least, we have laws that protect positive people. But the real issue has always been how WE as the community at large, treat these people.

ALL of the poz friends I have had have NEVER wanted their status front and center, ONLY because it is a medical issue and NOT an issue of personality.

For me - my Asthma has never been something that I have wanted to label me as. My depression on the other hand HAS been something that defines me. This is because of the impact that it can have on my every day life. It can affect my job, my relationship, my ability to take care of myself, and - in extreme cases - even my ability to properly toilet. That may sound gross - but it is the reality.

The reality of positive people includes medication regimes - side effects - periodic testing - viral loads - nutritional regimens - counselling - and 24/7 vigilance when it comes to a duty of care to others.

I can not POSSIBLY begin to imagine how life is like for a poz person - my only contribution can be to treat them as a person. NOT a poz person, but a person. Yes, I will be cognizant and aware of their issues - but I will not allow it to affect how *I* interact with them.

After all - I must ask myself - "Am I negative towards positives? Or am I feeding a negative perception?"

Ask yourself that.

That's my 2 cents worth - and I just spent it.

Shalom.

Damien
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